Lost and Found

One of the things I’ve been dreading about the upcoming move is going through the boxes from my late father who passed aways very suddenly 05/30/2007 a day before my 37th birthday. During the course of my morning which started at 2am pst this morning 12/4/13 I found some very interesting files buried in one of the many boxes I’ve had the displeasure of going through today.
It comes with mixed emotions that I share these things with you today. As complex as my relationship with my father was he and I share one very similar trait, we are (were) very sentimental, keeping notes and bits of paper from histories past as mementoes of things gone by. Pretty normal I imagine. While going through these boxes I found a file with my name on it thinking it would be report cards or kid related doctors stuff, I took a deep breath and opened said file. Much to my surprise it held only one envelope with my late grandmothers hand writing. In 1996 she submitted one of my poems to a national poetry contest. I didn’t know anything about it until I received an acceptance letter from the National Library of Congress stating that my piece published in an anthology book of poetry. Still to this day I’ve never seen the book itself but with the letter I found this morning I’ll be able to start narrowing down the possibilities. The following is that poem, written in 1983 when I was 13 years old.

THROWING STONES

Throwing stones through a glass room
to the tune of deaf ears
Cast away by a blind man
 with the temperance of steel
and a heart like coal
Do you understand his pain?
Woe..
Do the hearts of the persecuted cry
for the day of their release.
A silent black death
to take the place of the pain
inflicted by their captures.
I cry a blood stained tear
for the meek
and unwilling.
I cry for you.

Benjamin M Prewitt
1983

Its been so long since ive thought about this piece, I can’t remember a time in my life ever that there wasnt conflict, small moments in time where things were smooth but it never seemed to last long. I guess things havent changed much in that respect. Maybe its due to my passion or my view of the world. Maybe its a reaction to the things I see and have always seen in humankind. Today should be a day a great joy. It’s the day of the Something Red reception and the downtown Salem Oregon Art Walk yet I’m wrought with conflict of the heart and mind. I often wonder if this is the curse of an artist and those impassioned beyond the “normal” or if by some way or some thing I’m just eternally broken. Cursed by the heavens to carry a cross that is not my own.

I hope the day is kind to all of you and you find in your hearts to love. That you find the courage, strength and hope you need to live your lives to the fullest without the burden I feel every waking moment of life.

Be Brave Be Bold and Thrive in the Life you have… and I will try to do the same.

Benjamin M Prewitt

1970-current
a work in progress.

20131204-072542.jpg
I miss you Dad where ever you are.
** photo taken Dec 1971, I was one year old. The painting behind him was one of his own and something I remember vividly.

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22 thoughts on “Lost and Found

  1. Words fail. Stunningly, heart-breakingly, beautiful post. You sure know how to sucker punch a guy when he wanders in looking for visual art, and finds a soul bared… 🙂
    (I knew there was a reason I persisted in trying to get back in here… :D)
    And… erm… have I missed news of a move?!?

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  2. this is amazing benjamin. it is as if you have entered a secret cave and emerged with priceless treasures. you have always been such a powerful soul, it is clear to see.

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  3. Lovely post and deeply moving. Your reflections are very interesting for I have a friend who’ve said similar things about their life. Life is full of unanswered questions and unexplainable emotions and circumstances. thank you for letting me think and connect. i wish you a beautiful day, everyday. connie

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  4. I must say thank you for sharing..HOPE is the most cheerful painting I have seen from you, I love love love it . am looking forward to seeing the series. The poem is awesome,beyond the years of a 13 years old boy . Hugs & Love, As Always brought tears to my eyes

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