Purge of fears, anger and sadness.

I’m a sick with grief and sorrow today for I miss the things of my past. A gentle kiss or kind hand. A soft whisper without a hurtful hint of venom or distrust. Yes, I am broken. I spin like a top out of control, but I am real, I here. I am me underneath these shakes and quakes. Behind this fog that keeps the truth and simple things from me. That hides the common behind a ten billion thoughts a second. I can bare no more. I hate that you left me when you knew I was hurting, breaking inside and trying as hard as I could to climb free of this dying shell.

Now I am worse than before you found me . Hear that loud and clear. Let that sit on your tongue and rot in stomach is it does mine everyday.! I wake to this rotting corpse, daily I am more broken inside and out because of my time with you. The cost of your love, of life not the money we burn, but the life we lead and memories we keep. How we treat those and how we try to make amends for our sins shows who we are. Let that speak loudly . I’m hurt today.

I feel deeply and passionately about life. Now I’m done with this rant of pain and spilled words. I’ve got to go be cut open . Cheers .

Benjamin-2019 true story


Ten totes

10 totes is all that I be

10 totes is what’s left of me

1 for old papers that showed I was here.
2 for loved ones that I held most dear.
3 for the shoes for I have just a few.
4 for the memories of just me and you.
5 for the kids thing one amd thing two.
6 for the neighbors think I’ll them two.
7 for paintings and things I’ve collected
8 for sorrow and things I’ve neglected
9 for pain and things that I’ve hidden
10 for sins the I’ve committed may I be forgiven.

Ten totes that’s all that I be,
Ten totes that is what’s left
when I’m done being me.
The end…

A love story by: benjamin.

I remember why I’m here.

If this is a dream do not wake me for I have found heaven in the heart of this darkness. In the hardest of times I gave it all up. I had somehow become unworthy of love and happiness as it had been known to me. I had become more, or maybe less than I was as a man. Either way when the dust settled I was alone, barren of the seed and fruits of my life long labor. All my memories dashed upon the rocks of a misguided future and worst still,there were monsters waiting at home to devour what was left .

You didn’t leave a stone unturned this universe of God and mankind. I , you have deconstructed this human beast into a diffrent creation, something of joy and beauty, sadly cursed with the passion of a thousand men the heart of a lion, the soul of saint, tongue of the devil and hand of a hero.

I come to you on bended knee take me as I am. Take me for me and I’ll give you all that I be.. I have nothing and everything to give,.the only thing left is me.


Thoughts and expressions of my life.