Angel numbers have been by my side in huge amounts as of late. At first I thought it was to confirm my feelings. Now I wonder if they weren’t trying to warn me that my heart was leading my head and not protecting my heart.
Here we look at the first of plenty “Angel Numbers”
PET scan and blood work ordered. We shall see if I’m cancer Free, remission or not. Per my last CT it showed a shadow that had remained unchanged from the very first time they found the cancer. They say my throat looks good, the standard amount of scarring and tissue damage. They are going to have me see a swallow specialist who can help me fix some issues I’ve been having keeping food from going into my lungs. So today what do I know???
I do know I’m tired, heart sick and ready to give up the fight. The thing people don’t get, is how hard it really is to live with Parkinson’s disease and how really hard it is to recover from radiation and chemo treatments. I’ve been told it takes years and people treat me like I’m supposed to just snap to it and be better. It’s a joke a sad sad joke how judgmental and ignorant people can be. Anyhow I’m done. Be well and I hope to continue to paint as I can. Don’t know where or when I’ll be moving but it’ll happen in the next few months. Why stay in a town that doesn’t care? To much pain here in Salem especially after the trauma with Stephanie and losing the connection between my son and I. No more, no more pain, crying and saying I’m sorry for things that didn’t happen. Looking forward to the next week off from the doctors. I’ll be sleeping, packing and painting.
I have no heart, for you have taken it from me. I have no soul for the devil and angels have been warring over it since my birth. You came into my life as an angel and the devil stold you from me again. We keep circling back to each other in different forms,places and faces but Everytime I see you I know it’s you. I loved you like I should have but not even that was enough. You saw what you think I am, but what you want to be is really what you did see and that’s free of me, sadly I wish I knew just a little bit sooner, then I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you.
My heart I gave as you made me your slave and with God as my witness it’s you that up this distance between us for you were all that I dreamed of and more than I ever could have wishes for, yet sadly you’ve been ticked by people hat would take your money rather than give you their life and make you their wife, I’m sorry that you feel I’ve failed. You bailed and wouldn’t believe that I could really be the person God sent you, my darling I am the person your meant for my love. Goodbye as I cry and wonder why… Really what truly came between you and I.