As the stars gently bathe you in their luminous glow I’m caught breathless by your silhouette. Each curve and line captured in perfect form. Each star giving you it’s light to fill the very heart of darkness. To spread that joy of youthful innocence among the tired and broken. To teach one how to love again with the freedom of youth. The grace of your form know no bounds as its timeless essence gives strength to the ache of my heart, body and soul.
One of the things I’ve been dreading about the upcoming move is going through the boxes from my late father who passed aways very suddenly 05/30/2007 a day before my 37th birthday. During the course of my morning which started at 2am pst this morning 12/4/13 I found some very interesting files buried in one of the many boxes I’ve had the displeasure of going through today. It comes with mixed emotions that I share these things with you today. As complex as my relationship with my father was he and I share one very similar trait, we are (were) very sentimental, keeping notes and bits of paper from histories past as mementoes of things gone by. Pretty normal I imagine. While going through these boxes I found a file with my name on it thinking it would be report cards or kid related doctors stuff, I took a deep breath and opened said file. Much to my surprise it held only one envelope with my late grandmothers hand writing. In 1996 she submitted one of my poems to a national poetry contest. I didn’t know anything about it until I received an acceptance letter from the National Library of Congress stating that my piece published in an anthology book of poetry. Still to this day I’ve never seen the book itself but with the letter I found this morning I’ll be able to start narrowing down the possibilities. The following is that poem, written in 1983 when I was 13 years old.
Throwing stones through a glass room to the tune of deaf ears Cast away by a blind man with the temperance of steel and a heart like coal Do you understand his pain? Woe.. Do the hearts of the persecuted cry for the day of their release. A silent black death to take the place of the pain inflicted by their captures. I cry a blood stained tear for the meek and unwilling. I cry for you.
Benjamin M Prewitt 1983
Its been so long since ive thought about this piece, I can’t remember a time in my life ever that there wasnt conflict, small moments in time where things were smooth but it never seemed to last long. I guess things havent changed much in that respect. Maybe its due to my passion or my view of the world. Maybe its a reaction to the things I see and have always seen in humankind. Today should be a day a great joy. It’s the day of the Something Red reception and the downtown Salem Oregon Art Walk yet I’m wrought with conflict of the heart and mind. I often wonder if this is the curse of an artist and those impassioned beyond the “normal” or if by some way or some thing I’m just eternally broken. Cursed by the heavens to carry a cross that is not my own.
I hope the day is kind to all of you and you find in your hearts to love. That you find the courage, strength and hope you need to live your lives to the fullest without the burden I feel every waking moment of life.
Be Brave Be Bold and Thrive in the Life you have… and I will try to do the same.
Benjamin M Prewitt
1970-current a work in progress.
I miss you Dad where ever you are.
** photo taken Dec 1971, I was one year old. The painting behind him was one of his own and something I remember vividly.
Tis in the small hours of the morning
I miss you most of all.
This darkness pull at my heart and soul
Body quakes and shakes
bones creak and crack
as the pain ripple like cool water
through all that I am, was and will
Simple words fall from the sky
as I catch each one to give to you
not knowing not thinking just doing
and being, for I know only one way.
The sun will come today, bringing a list
of To Do’s and Boo who’s do I have too’s
and what not’s.
Each one given a time and place till
I can finally erase these things and
simply sit with you.
I’ve just added a new page dedicated to just words. A painting my find it’s way there just to emphasize the words but this pages purpose is only for my writings. I’d like to dedicate my first post to a few people I’d like to think you know who you are for you carry me in your warts like no others. We carry a bond that time and space doesn’t interfere with.
With all my heart.
Good morning\Afternoon and evening, I hope the day has found you well, first off from deep in my heart I’d like to thank many of you for your lovely well wishes. This time of great change I must admit has caught me off guard a bit. I cherish change it keeps life fresh and new. It is the life blood of the future. Yet this time of change id new for me as I’ve never experienced great change with PD. Though my onset of Parkinson’s disease was rapid and honestly pretty brutal compared to the stories I’ve read from others with PD. I’ve only had PD for a little over two years. So there are many things in life I’ve yet to experience with my new-found friend. Moving being one of them and doing so in such a grand manner has been one of the toughest things I’ve done regardless of PD. I suppose hurting myself in a very painful fashion practically on day one hasn’t made things any easier. But I’m a fighter, I am that tree that will soak up the suns warmth from whatever direction it comes and save it for a rainy day. The tricky thing about this move is my body is missing some key indicators of when its time to be done. I suffer from peripheral neuropathy to the extent that I have little to no physical sensation in my hands, arms and legs.
So while your body will tell you “hey” you just hurt yourself or cut your leg ect.. I don’t feel those things the way most do. So when I do finally feel the pain it’s from a completely different source and sadly one that doesn’t know how to get that information correctly to the places it needs to go, My brain. O.o
I’ve talked with doctors as of late about ways to fight this but it seems their answer is to just kill the nerve completely, for instance I have a nerve knot in my foot that sends shocks up my leg from my big toe to my calf. It basically feels like liquid fire being poured up the nerve. Sciences answer to that was a quick injection of “your dead” of which I declined. Id rather feel the pain than never feel again. As for my ribs they will heal, anyone who has ever broken multiple ribs know exactly what im talking about. You go to the doctor in excruciating pain and they say hmm, it looks like you’ve broken or bruised your ribs, here’s a pain pill and a wrap, see you in six weeks, if it hurts too much, sorry don’t hurt your ribs. Anyhow I digress, as the title may suggest im going to be taking a day off,… Kind of, maybe… A little, First the boy and I are going to get our hair cut, for those of you who know me well it is an act of cleansing as well as a “looks” thing. My hair now is way to long for my liking. Today is also the “Something Red” art submission day so I need to go do that. I also have a print I need to pick up at the frame store and get that ready to ship out. Which reminds me I am getting close to capacity on some of the print’s, some of you may not know but I will be not make more than 20 of any print. I really didn’t want to make prints to begin with but as requested and suggested by many of you I decided to go ahead and do so.
So as I sit here a ramble away as I often do, the day is slipping away, Thank you all again for your opinion on the “Something Red” submissions and Truly, Truly thank you for your kind words. People often ask or state ” I don’t know how you manage or carry on” well its simple im a stubborn Irish bastard and simply from the kindness and strength gifted by others. Enough ramblings lets look at some Art for just a small moment in time.
As I lay me down to sleep
Autumns Passing 24″x36″ Mixed media
The above paintings mark the most recent work completed, “As I lay me down to sleep”, ” Autumns Passing and “Horizons” all done within the past 30 days or so. I guess I can keep my title as a painter. I just feel shameful as I have a head bursting with images just clamoring to get out. Soon enough right? Soon I will have a “working” studio that friends and patrons may come visit with me at, It HAS A WINDOW!!!! which for those who know is kind of a running joke. Not only am I red-green color blind but I practically paint in the dark with my one “shop light” glaring down at me. Right I coud just sit here all day a chat. which is really what I’d like to do but I must go.
Pain drips from everything I am on this mornings dawn
There is a chill and cold in the air that cuts
straight to the bone of this shaky, stiff sack
of borrowed bones. Yet no sorrow shall be given
for the choice is my own. At what cost does a
king give his body, to build a castle he will
never get to use.
*** On wicked words did the night bite
and cause great sorrow.
For in the dawns light nothing had changed
the boy was still a boy
Dressed in the suite of man he once knew.
Given heart string pull at such harmonious
discord, how can ones should bear such a song.
With each repeat do we not find solace in the
idea that maybe this time will be our last and
we will learn the how to true be free of the
madness within an aching heart a broken body
and bleeding soul. Amen………………
Good morning and happy monday from the great pacific northwest. Id like to personally thak all of you who took the time to comment on the first half of this post. As pasrt one said tbc here is the second half. The painting that most folks mentioned are pretty much the one I figured would be voted for. I figured we would look at a couple more just for giggles but honestly I think most of the really really good ones have already been purchased. Seems like its time for me to get busy painting
These are the current most voted for pieces:
Here are a couple more pieces Ive been thinking about submitting
3 color abstract sunset / rise
Pi~Guy and the Cowboy
To be honest Im not sure what pieces Im going to go with, They have to be framed and they have to be 36″ x 48″ at the largest. If they let me submitt pieces that at that size prior to being framed the I’ll submitt These 3 no question if not then im unsure:
Angels and Demons
Right then its time for me to get this day going. I have the pleasure of having lunch with a very dear friend today and Im taking the day off from the Farm house. I managed to pull most of the muscles surrounding my ribs on the right side a couple days ago and yeah it hurts like crazy so im more than happy to take the day, plus normal life stuff calls I need to go to the market and prepare a menu for the week.
As always, Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have.
Much love and light.
No symphony tonight of crickets and frogs for the west wind sings a different song this day.
One of torment and pain one of absence and loss.
High in the trees I here her howling gale like the sea crashing upon rocks of a distant shore.
One solo knight sits in the darkness
Absent of stars and song.
Only one solo form to greet me this morn.
Physical pain drips from my armor like
Dew on the leaves at dawn.
But still is it and wait for the silence to break….
Nothing comes, no friend by my side
No face to greet the day.
All doors of this hallowed hall marked shut…..not a peep can be heard
One frog, the west wind and I greet this day. matutinus silentio excipiens
( When silence greets the dawn)
May the day treat you well, guide you in love,hope an strength. Hold you right in angels wings covered in hope for a new day.
** posted originally April of this year, I find my hands unwilling to type to I found some of my own words to match how I feel tonight( this morning)
All my love.
Yes again I have actually sat down at a real computer and started to updated my Gallery sites. For those looking to see a larger collection of work please follow the link to Gallery 2 the Sold and Not for sale section. Gallery 1 for sale stuff has been updated as well and will also be recievig more TLC in the hours to follow.
in such many morning as this does one find such lovers bliss beneath the stars and written above or in the hearts of a single white dove. does one not yearn for the taste of sweet paint on the hands and words dripping from the tongue of one so sweet and of yet to meet on that cold autumn street.
which way would you go if you were truly part water. In a concentric circle flow?