Many of you know about some of the most private details of my life at this point..
Some of you would even say I’ve over shared…
I guess that’s the beauty of what happens here we all have a choice. To come together under a common bond and share the joys and
sorrows of each others lives. Some to comment, some to watch from the shadows and judge. Either way I made a decision when I first started
blog to be open. Many people forget that this site didn’t start as an Art blog but as my personal journal cataloging my life and struggles with coming to
terms with Young Onset Parkinson’s disease. This journey has taken me around the united states and abroad I’m happy to say I’ve shared every step along the ways, the good the bad and the very ugly personal truths of my life that in reality many of us share in common but would never put out there the way I do.
I’ve said it before and Ill stand by it. I’m a man, no different than any other with the slight exception that I paint and write my heart and soul for all to see. I end 99% of my posts with a kind word. And I pose some hard questions and thoughts because I believe that one man and one voice can change the world.
Art and words have lost their meaning and I will not stand for it another second. For if YOU will not Be Brave and Be Bold or Thrive in the life you have….. I will. If given the chance I would take your hand and shout your name from the roof tops to show the world your brilliance and compassion. Live your words or don’t use them at all. At this point I’ve lost all of it. My job, my career my home and my family and Ill be dammed if I’m going to silence my heart and soul now.
I just received word that I’ve been accepted into a local art co-op. 4 floors of prime down town retail, commercial and loft living space. A place that is positioning its self at the edge of creating an new feel a new scene thriving and ready to make Art believable again. Any person can put brush to canvas, lead to paper and glue a stone to a ring. But only a few can create through there passion to express that love, fear and strength through their art. So again I say…to you.
Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have… No… life is not easy for any of us. But if I can live through the things I’ve seen, done and had happen to me then you can too. I believe in you. I’ve seen your strength, beauty and passion.
That’s all I’ve to say. Namaste Benjamin 1970-current “A life in progress”
People have often asked where the inspiration for blue moon came from. Here’s a hyper close view of the painting I drew inspiration from. If you can pull in close to my piece and you’ll see what I mean
Over the years I’ve drawn inspiration from so many sources, people,artist, music,lovers,silence and of coarse emotions and nature.
It’s hard to say who or what has influenced me more
Juan Miro or Picasso.? Certainly Dali and Ernst surrealism have inspired my style
Picasso esc themes can be seen through out many of my pieces, even hints of DeKooning and Jasper Johns, Pollock and Franz Kline
Then one day I think I came into my own:
It’s been an honor and privilege over the past year plus to be able to share my heart and soul with so many of you. Thank you for being on this journey with me, I couldn’t do it without you.
How does one “fight the good fight”? How do the weak become strong or the timid become brave? Because of people like you. And how does one truly give thanks to gifts they receive in life? There are so many ways that one can give thanks.
So it can be said especially during this holiday season I’m thankful for you. I appreciate you. You’re words give me strength, inspiration, hope, courage and passion. So thank you. I know so many of you ( us ) enter this holiday season with the burdens of the year behind us but still full on your backs and minds, you may wonder how,? How can I ( us, we, you and I ) go on? I’ve felt the same many many many times. When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease I had really no idea what to expect. Then slow, steadily and with out fail I watched as if from the outside my life fall away and I had very little if any control. Slowly I lost my ability to communicate well enough to run large companies the only thing I’d done since I was 18 years old. I watched as my body, a once well trained fighting machine became weak and unbalanced. I watched as my once steady hands began to tremble like a cold baby bird. I was scared, still am, but then something happened…..I found you, all of you and you found me.
So today I give thanks, thanks for my life that I have, for the friends and family that I’ve made with many of you. For it is the strength, hope, courage of many that build a world so strong with a voice so loud that nothing is impossible. It is because of you that the world is a better place. No matter how far beneath the struggle of life you may feel from time to time know one thing. You are strong, you are brave and you are beautiful and intelligent, worthy of all the good thing life has to offer. I believe in you, I appreciate you and I am thankful for you.
Happy Holidays everyone. Without you I never would have had the strength to become the man I am today.
Good morning, afternoon and evening. I think I missed a day. How have you been? I havent missed a day since I don’t know when. Things have been shall we say out of control to say the least. We have two days until the movers come and I must admit I’m in a bit of a state of shock, we’ve gone from talking about this supposed property that we might come into, to having the deal fall through a couple of times. Me demanding for people not to talk about it around me because I’m a huge dreamer and if you give me the chance to dream I will and I’ll dream huge. To now.. Two days and the Main house will be 100% remodeled new paint,floors through out, trim and appliances come today so I’ll be at the Farm house most of the day simply hanging out.
During the course of this adventure I’ve managed to break two ribs, work myself to exhaustion more time than I care to admit and had some huge fights.I also somehow managed to win my category in the “Something Red” juried show, again a thing I totally don’t get. Last year I didn’t even get an honorable mention and this year I win? Dont get me wrong I’m not complaining, just shocked. And now here I sit not having panted in almost a month and its making me crazy. But I guess that’s what change does right? We’ve talked about it before, rebirth is never easy especially when it’s basically your entire life.Thanks for sticking with me, an Art blog with out art must be kind of boring especially since I’ve been forced to torture you guys with my words ;) That being said lets take a look and see if we can stare at some paint for a moment. Maybe something old that we havent seen for a while.
Inspired by yes Paul Jackson Pollock, this piece was done on paper using inks, oils, acrylics, gouache and anything else I could get my hands on. I was only 17 years old at the time but still this is one of my favorite pieces I’ve ever done, at least in this style. Funny thing is I’m not a huge fan of using this style. Most of my fascination with Pollock comes from the person he was and his views on art and paint itself.
Picasso, Miro and Dali being some of the other painters that have inspired me over the years, again not so much because of their paintings but because of who they were as humans and their unique view on art and paint. But I must admit im kind of fan boy when it comes to Picasso and I could and have spent hours staring at Dali work. One of the quotes Picasso is known for saying that I really appreciate is “Good painters copy, “great painters steal” and maybe its Artist instead of painters but I’m not to worried as I’m stealing his quote anyhow. ;) For I to believe it’s not about being able to copy another work as it is the ability to embody the essence of the artist and make it your own. Therefore “stealing” and not copying.
Sabbia “woman at the beach”**Also one of the only neutral color tone pieces I’ve done.
Pi~Guy and the Cowboy
“Pi-Guy and the Cowboy”This piece tells a story of a symbiotic relationship based on mutual need and self-preservation.
again it’s not about copying the artist, as just about anyone can produce a painting like this, in fact many artist have copied Picasso. But not many can embody the master and make his style their own.
Wow so I just realized I’ve been rambling Sorry, I miss my studio and I miss talking about art. OKay just to finish the ramble on art lets look just briefly at a couple more pieces and then I promise I’ll wrap it up.
A Miro inspired commission piece now living in the Mid-West.
And a Dali inspired piece, staying in my private collection.
Any how thanks for letting me sit and chat for a bit. I’ll be out at the Farm house waiting for appliances to show up and possibly working on getting the studio set up. I’ve been letting the construction guys use the space as a prep area for the rest of the house but after appliances come there isn’t really a direct need for people to come bouncing through my space. Okay its time for me to start my day. Something very rare happened last night….I slept,!!! yes really the whole night. Well from 10p-3a and for me that’s a lot of continuous sleep. I hope you have a great day and that the world treats you kindly and you it.
Much Love and Light
As the stars gently bathe you in their luminous glow I’m caught breathless by your silhouette. Each curve and line captured in perfect form. Each star giving you it’s light to fill the very heart of darkness. To spread that joy of youthful innocence among the tired and broken. To teach one how to love again with the freedom of youth. The grace of your form know no bounds as its timeless essence gives strength to the ache of my heart, body and soul.
Good morning\Afternoon and evening, I hope the day has found you well, first off from deep in my heart I’d like to thank many of you for your lovely well wishes. This time of great change I must admit has caught me off guard a bit. I cherish change it keeps life fresh and new. It is the life blood of the future. Yet this time of change id new for me as I’ve never experienced great change with PD. Though my onset of Parkinson’s disease was rapid and honestly pretty brutal compared to the stories I’ve read from others with PD. I’ve only had PD for a little over two years. So there are many things in life I’ve yet to experience with my new-found friend. Moving being one of them and doing so in such a grand manner has been one of the toughest things I’ve done regardless of PD. I suppose hurting myself in a very painful fashion practically on day one hasn’t made things any easier. But I’m a fighter, I am that tree that will soak up the suns warmth from whatever direction it comes and save it for a rainy day. The tricky thing about this move is my body is missing some key indicators of when its time to be done. I suffer from peripheral neuropathy to the extent that I have little to no physical sensation in my hands, arms and legs.
So while your body will tell you “hey” you just hurt yourself or cut your leg ect.. I don’t feel those things the way most do. So when I do finally feel the pain it’s from a completely different source and sadly one that doesn’t know how to get that information correctly to the places it needs to go, My brain. O.o
I’ve talked with doctors as of late about ways to fight this but it seems their answer is to just kill the nerve completely, for instance I have a nerve knot in my foot that sends shocks up my leg from my big toe to my calf. It basically feels like liquid fire being poured up the nerve. Sciences answer to that was a quick injection of “your dead” of which I declined. Id rather feel the pain than never feel again. As for my ribs they will heal, anyone who has ever broken multiple ribs know exactly what im talking about. You go to the doctor in excruciating pain and they say hmm, it looks like you’ve broken or bruised your ribs, here’s a pain pill and a wrap, see you in six weeks, if it hurts too much, sorry don’t hurt your ribs. Anyhow I digress, as the title may suggest im going to be taking a day off,… Kind of, maybe… A little, First the boy and I are going to get our hair cut, for those of you who know me well it is an act of cleansing as well as a “looks” thing. My hair now is way to long for my liking. Today is also the “Something Red” art submission day so I need to go do that. I also have a print I need to pick up at the frame store and get that ready to ship out. Which reminds me I am getting close to capacity on some of the print’s, some of you may not know but I will be not make more than 20 of any print. I really didn’t want to make prints to begin with but as requested and suggested by many of you I decided to go ahead and do so.
So as I sit here a ramble away as I often do, the day is slipping away, Thank you all again for your opinion on the “Something Red” submissions and Truly, Truly thank you for your kind words. People often ask or state ” I don’t know how you manage or carry on” well its simple im a stubborn Irish bastard ;) and simply from the kindness and strength gifted by others. Enough ramblings lets look at some Art for just a small moment in time.
As I lay me down to sleep
Autumns Passing 24″x36″ Mixed media
The above paintings mark the most recent work completed, “As I lay me down to sleep”, ” Autumns Passing and “Horizons” all done within the past 30 days or so. I guess I can keep my title as a painter. I just feel shameful as I have a head bursting with images just clamoring to get out. Soon enough right? Soon I will have a “working” studio that friends and patrons may come visit with me at, It HAS A WINDOW!!!! which for those who know is kind of a running joke. Not only am I red-green color blind but I practically paint in the dark with my one “shop light” glaring down at me. Right I coud just sit here all day a chat. which is really what I’d like to do but I must go.
Good morning and happy monday from the great pacific northwest. Id like to personally thak all of you who took the time to comment on the first half of this post. As pasrt one said tbc here is the second half. The painting that most folks mentioned are pretty much the one I figured would be voted for. I figured we would look at a couple more just for giggles but honestly I think most of the really really good ones have already been purchased. Seems like its time for me to get busy painting ;)
These are the current most voted for pieces:
Here are a couple more pieces Ive been thinking about submitting
3 color abstract sunset / rise
Pi~Guy and the Cowboy
To be honest Im not sure what pieces Im going to go with, They have to be framed and they have to be 36″ x 48″ at the largest. If they let me submitt pieces that at that size prior to being framed the I’ll submitt These 3 no question if not then im unsure:
Angels and Demons
Right then its time for me to get this day going. I have the pleasure of having lunch with a very dear friend today and Im taking the day off from the Farm house. I managed to pull most of the muscles surrounding my ribs on the right side a couple days ago and yeah it hurts like crazy so im more than happy to take the day, plus normal life stuff calls I need to go to the market and prepare a menu for the week.
As always, Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have.
Much love and light.
Good day, I hope your all doing well and enjoying this fine day on planet earth. I’m not sure whats in store for me today but I must say my head is so full of everything right now im finding it hard to do anything. I need to run some donations to a local place here shortly, i also need to get the rest of the tags up for the show down town. I think the stress of traveling and moving and hanging a show in such close succession is (was) a bad idea. I’m finding myself not painting or writing much. I’ve fallen back in with that damn monster fatigue, My arch nemeses, I do hate him so. Ive been stretching and working out everyday and I still feel like crap. They say its because of the way my brain has changed due to the PD that I or my brain interprets pain diffrently, what ever it is its kind of a bummer :-D Ive just today added some more things to all the “shops”
Well I think we should look at some art and get on with the day, its just about 10a here and Ive a ton of stuff im not doing that needs to be attended to:
A piece we havent seen in a long time
Sabbia is still one of my favs, though im not sure why. I think its because it was done when i finally started to come to terms with my PD like I was trying to explain to someone the other day. Accepting a thing for what it is doesn’t mean that one has given up, it simply means they’ve (ive) come to terms with , Progressive, incurable, degenerative, three words you really never want to hear in the same sentence especially when its directed at one self. But it is what it is. Anyhow i have a cat how’s trying to invade the keyboard so i must be on my way.
Yes you’ve read correctly finally ive actually at down at a real computer instead of my phone and spent some time revamping the site. Please if you get a chance stop by the Print Store and take a look. http://wp.me/P2ASdI-29RI’m very interested in your feed back on the changes. Please feel free to ask about price, sizes, and special orders. The print store offers my work at a reduced rate and still keeps up my integrity as an artist. I still will only be offering a count of 20 signed prints of any painting. Once that number is reached it will be off the market completely.
As always thanks for your love and support I wouldn’t be here today if it wasnt for you.
Hi there good morning, wont you please come in. It’s great to see you again. Please have a seat I have a story I’d like to tell you. It’s a bit of a love story a bit of a tragedy but then again what great love story isn’t? Are you comfortable? Good. Then Lets begin.
There once was a man so smitten in love that it took all he had to give. Now granted he gave it all freely without remorse or regret but none the less it was given. Until one fine day he found he was empty. He ached for love, he ached for a connection. Over the years his skin had turned to stone from so many times the world had knocked im down and torn little bits of him away. This slowly but surely lost his soul and heart to the world around him. In his solace he came to a place quiet and serene and he sat. He set his worried mind aside and sat empty from life’s turmoil, hungry for compassion and the need for contact, empty from the giving and blue. For he saw no end in sight for his great journey no reward or light at the end of the tunnel.
Then one day while sitting a fair maiden came to sit by his side. Yet she to was broken from the world, abused and battered subjugated by society. She felt powerless with no hands to change the course of her life, powerless to run and hide from the demons whence she came so she sat with the man and they talked. With out stretched hands she yearned to ease his pain but life had taken that joy from her, only her inner light could cast on the mind of his lost soul. For she to was empty, void of the fertile life-giving essence of her female powers for society had made her faceless. One of many, just another pretty face striving to be another pretty face. Yet it was here and only here beneath the Big Sky that they too could find peace.
He with his empty heart and stomach, hungry for life with a head so fully of dreams and desires but with no means to see them to the real. And her with the Depth of Woman but no voice to speak or hands to shake in repute. No feet to flee to a better place so they sat… They sat beneath the Big Sky and wept, wept for loves lost and life cruelty, wept for the children born with no faces or places to call there own.They wept for themselves as I weep for you.
Thank you for letting me tell you The Story of Big Sky.
May your day be full of laughter and joy, may you reach new heights in your understanding of yourself and those around you. And please be Kind to one another for if YOU are not the who will be?? Think about it…… If we all assume that the next person will be the one to step up and perform that act of kindness then are we not ALL in a perpetual cycle of denial. Be the change, Be the voice, Be the one that makes a difference in the world.