Life, the good the bad and all the stuff in between.

There are so many times in life where we simply don’t have control and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. Cars crash, loved one pass. People change and grow apart. Life has a funny way when it comes to the way it ebbs and flows.
On that note I have some very sad and upsetting news to share. As many of you know in 2011 after about a year of seeing doctors I was diagnosed with young onset Parkinson’s disease. I worked on and off at my “normal job” for as long as I could until it was clear between the side effects of the medication and the progression of the disease that I would no longer be able to be satisfactory at my job. I then made arrangements to retire. In my down time and absences from work I began painting at a feverish pace desperately searching to reclaim something that was “me” the old me that I had to put in the closet in order to raise a family as I thought they should be raised, steady income, house,wife, car and cats. In my search to be reborn I began to discover who I am at the core of my being. I’m a giver a gentleman a warrior and poetish painter. The same man I was when I started painting 37 years ago. Yes I’m old (ish) 43 currently. Over the course of the past 3 years my Parkinson’s and my personal life has changed a great deal some for the better and some not so much. Over the course of those three years my relationship with M has suffered a great deal and as to not make my entire personal life a matter of public information I’ll keep the details out. I will say to M. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be more aware of the changes happening a they happened or change the direction. I’m sorry that our paths grew apart . But they did. You showed amazing control as you delivered the bad news to me and for that I’ll be forever thankful. And for those of you reading this if you haven’t caught on yes M and I are separating. In life and in marriage not all things grow and change in the same direction and we as a couple have reached a very sad and hurtful point one that I wouldn’t wish on any couple. The point where you love but no longer like or respect your partner.
I will keep painting, writing and posting it is at this point the only solid thing I have to hold on to. That being said I’m going to dry my tears and do my best to do what I ask all of you so often to do.
Be brave, be bold and thrive in the life you have.

Namaste
Benjamin
A life in progress
1970-current

Tempest~The Heart of an Artist

 

The Story behind the Art and Artist of Tempest:
Id like to say my life was a fairy tale full of dreams fulfilled, wishes granted
and time well spent. To do so would be far from the truth and a rather boring story.
In Tempest we see the turbulent clouds of dark purple and green both colors hopeful yet full
of a troubled heart and life. Struggling to find my way on this new path that life has chosen for me.
The form of the figure one could say is female in its curves full of soft sweeping motion and a resemblance
of a musical clef. I her shoulder and breast is a figurative form of infinity giving reference to a belief that I have
that all things are one both past and present. Also in reference to our human cycle of life destined to
repeat our pasts until the puzzle is solved.
She holds her head high above the sky yet in a position of sadness as so often I do. Sad for the hurt in this world,
sad for the hurt in my soul. The window shines a soft yet illuminating light and for me is also the window to my heart
and soul. of two minds hoping to give light to those I encounter in this lifetime and the light that shines out of the darkness
that I so often find myself in. One could ask how someone so tormented could always wishes everyone well, joy, love and happiness.
Its simple I don’t ever want anyone to live through see or feel things that I’ve experienced in my life.
The window, of hope in the darkness.
The spheres find their way to the Tempests side as she stands strong in the calm of the dark purple calm.
Circles, we could write a book on the metaphorical meaning of the circle. Matter of fact there is probably
a guy sipping scotch on a beach somewhere who has. For me in this piece the are eternal, life, death alpha and omega.
From one we have the tree of life emerging from the darkness of the shadow. An ever-present reminder that even in
the darkest of times life will find a way to carry on. From the other sphere we have a cord somewhat of an umbilical
to the tempest also representing the twists and turn of this elegant dance of existence we call life.
Please take from this piece what you will it has and never will be my intent to force my will upon the viewer.
Life is hard, mine, yours, his and hers but life is also beautiful full of hidden graces.
The spring breeze scented with flowers that come but once a year.
Summer sunsets so magical people make a living chasing them down to simply capture the moment.
A child’s first breath and the unconditional love of an old friend.
First kisses and last dances these are the things that make weathering the storm worth living.

So it is with these words from my heart to yours I give you and world.
The Tempest.

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Tempest ~ My Girl Collection
41.5″ x 48.5′
Mixed media
Inks and Acrylics
2014

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Close up 1.

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Close up 2.

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Close up 3.

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Where we started..
As always Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have.

Namaste
Benjamin
2014
A life in Progress
**Ink sketch done by Picasso

Studio catch up..

Good day I hope you’ve been well in my absence. It feels so strange to not be painting and post 2-3 times a day or at least popping in to say hello. The current piece I’m working on is slow going and highly time consuming. It’s birth into this work unlike the abstract a I do comes with great patience as the ideas manifest and meaning behind each stroke takes on a name of its own. There is a deep person relationship between this new My Girl and I for she is helping me show you a level of thought and technique we haven’t thought about since Dalis Baby a piece I’m sure many of you haven’t even seen. My girl will also be holding a depth of concept as Big Sky did in the story it’s character told. Without further adieu I give you the most recent update on

My Girl

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Please keep in mind the the coloring is just being blocked out and the shading is in it’s infancy. The the story behind the concept is beginning to take shape. As many of you eluded to her shape is that of a clef or musical note, this is intentional as many muse sing a song that is only heard by it’s intended artist. A song or passion driving his or her work. Acting as a sanctuary of sorts as it does for me at 2a when I can’t sleep, finding myself by her musical side caressed by tones of gentle gift. In this piece thus far there is a beacon so far perceived as a light house that may or may not change but the concept will remain the same. A beacon of hope a light in the darkness a path guiding one home. It has a tree of life emerging from the shadows and a window to the soul. This piece will have many perceptions of misconception as the eye and mind wonder the piece from dark to light and flat to multidimensional. I will not elude much more to the concept of this piece until it’s completion as I’d like the relationship you form with it to be your own. But now it can be said I’ve opened a small window into my heart and mind for you to view this piece as it evolves. I’ve one other piece I’m slowly working on as well. These are the very beginning of School Yard a concept I think most humans who attended any basic education can relate to and any person who’s ever take that wrong turn down a dark alley only to find the most beautiful and hidden expression of the times scrawled in pen and paint across the alleys of our world.

;

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Again both of these pieces have miles to go until their life and concept are fully realized on our earth but given time and patience I hope to do just that.
It is my hope that where ever you are and what ever you may be doing that you know you are loved, that you realize your life has value and the world will not nor could not be the same without you.
As always my friends:
Be Brave Be Bold and Thrive in the Life you have.

Namaste
Benjamin
2014
“A life in progress”>

Tranquility ~ Work in progress

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Today I must let the paint speak for me as the words I have are filled with holes. Another sleepless night found me waiting and wanting for another life, another time, another me.

Today I believe I’ll be doing a great deal of painting and very little talking.
Please enjoy the day as this winter officially is left behind and spring comes to grace us with her joys.

Much love and light.
Benjamin
2014

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Finished,almost finished and more work to do.

After coming home from my travels this time I find myself more motivated and focused than ever. So much so I’m having a hard time keeping track of simple normal things. Yesterday I was so excited to go help a friend with some errands and run some of my own I actually forgot my pills.!!! A first. The one thing that I absolutely have to have. Then this morning, again I can’t find my damn pill case lol. Thankfully that’s only where I keep the ones I carry for the day. So yes it’s very easy to say my head is swimming in words and paint. Here is a look at the things that are finished, almost finished and still have work to do.

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My Girl
Abstract figure
12″x24″
Mixed media
Commissioned piece
2014

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Winters Birch
28″x52″ framed
Mixed media
2014
Sold

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I’m very pleased with the frame on the tree. It’s hard to tell but it’s a antiqued reddish brown with a gold inlay, personally I find it to be just eclectic enough yet still refined to this piece.

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Moon and Tree
36″x36″
Mixed media
2014
Gift.

Its signed but after I took this photo I realized it still needed some work so I’ll be making some minor changes that will have major yet subtle impact, if that makes any sense. Often I have a very hard time seeing what you and other see until I take a photo and look at the work as if viewing it for the first time. One of the very special things about this piece is it’s the first of my vintage paneling that I was given. The wood that this is painted on is from an era when quality of product was at its highest, back in a day when it was normal for people to make things by hand. I believe it is from 1950-55, thankfully I still have over a 100 linear feet of the stuff so plenty o pieces to come from this paneling.
And last but not least a textured piece that I’m slowly working on.

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This one is 24″x36″ and I already have a frame ordered for it. Now it’s just up to me to get in gear and get it done. I also have three clean and prepped smaller panels ready to go so this weekend will hopefully be a productive one in the area of paint.
As always I want to thank each and every one of you for making my world a better place to be. I couldn’t do what I do without you. You give me strength when I have none. Hope when my heart is weak and you light my way in my darkest hours. You may think that’s an exaggeration but it’s not. I don’t see myself as many of you see me. To me I truly am just a man with some paint and words, just a boy trapped in a dying mans body. A broken warrior and wandering knight looking for a place to rest my tired heart and soul. So yes I really am honored and humbled by your kindness. Each day of my life is a blessing, each painting that sells is a life changing humbling experienced for me.
Again, many many thanks and as always, Be brave, be bold and thrive in the life you have.

Namaste
Benjamin
2014

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Last Day ~ Final paint

Some words and paint on this traveling painters last day of adventure.

He(art) :
For a thousand years I’ve held your
Hand
For a thousand more will you hold my heart?
I’ve know your soul by a hundred names.
In this darkened place called life.
Your beauty guides me from the night.
Giving strength to tired hands and heavy heart.
A smile to light the way
and gift to say, you may.
Such touch does the heart beat like a drum from a distant tome.
Never ending hunger feeds this souls
With dreams of a better day.
Now clouded with pills
Words dripping from the mind like spring rain
Sprouting flowers that only grow
In the darkness of the night.
Benjamin
2014

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I hope the day has found you well, I find that I’m always a bit melancholy on my final day of travel. It’s easiest to say I truly am of two minds. I miss my son a great deal but at the same time as an artist I thrive in this environment . I crave the newness of each breath and breeze. The challenge of creating in new spaces and places capturing old familiar feelings in a new light. I’d say without a doubt I love what I do. Painting and writing feed my he(art) and soul more than I could ever find words to truly express, I guess that’s why I continue to write. If I’d found all the words and paint my job here in this life would be complete.
I’d like to share an excerpt from an artist statement I’m writing, as with my art I believe my statement should evolve to fit the depth of my work. This taste I give you is just that and may or may not ever find it’s place in the pages of my life.

How can one man give definition in a physical sense to the abstraction of the human heart and soul. To what form does mans heart hold and can I paint it in such a way that the rest of the world will understand that our humanity is at stake. The very fiber of every human heart and soul longs to have some form of connection with another being.
Meaning in an abstract heady sort of way that I strive through my art to create a common ground fore which man, woman and child alike can form a shared bond of love,peace,hope,courage and strength. I believe by the simple act of communication that we as a society can do these things. Art being the subject I have to offer in an effort to join our communities.

That being said I’ll bid you adieu until later. May life embrace you for all that you are, all that you have been and all that you will become.
Namaste
Benjamin
2014
“A life in progress”

Completed: Important Things ~ Day four The Traveling painter

In our lives we will deem many things important some of them small in size. Some large in the scale of things. When I paint for an individual it’s a very personal thing. For us as the artworks creators an important thing. Thus giving it weight in the universe. For we as humans have given it a real world tangible value and in relation to whom I paint for it’s been given emotional value or weight as well.
With that being said I give you
Important Things

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Important Things
**private commission piece
Mixed media
2014

I think one of the things we so often forget in our busy life is that
Everybody has different important things and who are we as individuals
To think our important things are any greater or less than anothers.
So the basis of this peace is about, hope, balance, compassion and change(growth) both spiritual and intellectual.

Benjamin
2014
A work in progress

On unrelated news, I have three days left in my travels and I look forward to doing some more painting and writing. Also a bunch of other silly stuff I can’t wait to share.

Painty, paint paint….

Hi, how are you today, doing well I hope. As you may have guessed from my first post today I’m feeling a tad melancholy. I apologize for putting those vibes out into space, really I’m thankful, there are so many that are far worse off than I. So shall we take a look at some paint? Yes.. Okay then let’s do it!!

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I took Message in a Bottle to get properly fitted with her frame today. I’m very excited to get it back this Friday so I can hang it in the March show at Crema.
I also took the companion piece Red Dragon ~ Coral series to get framed today as well. Another piece I’m really looking forward to seeing framed.

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This show at Crema is going to be an interesting mix of both old and new some older pieces from late 2011-12 and then some newer pieces like the ones above. I did however take a piece that I hold very near and dear to me. Many I think will not “get it” which is perfectly fine with me. The work is titled
So Many Questions” and it’s not just about PD though it is the first piece in the 2012 Parkinson’s collection. For me it’s also a very pure statement of how I think. I question everything, period. I have since I was a child and I hope to for all of my days.

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So Many Questions
29.5″x31.5″
Acrylic,Ink
2012
Parkinson’s Series

I’ll also be showing these older pieces, most of which have only been out of the house once.

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The Long Road

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Guiding Light

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The Unknown
I will also be hanging a number of smaller pieces this time as I don’t like to repeat myself when I show and except for some large pieces, most everything is sold already. A quick look at the little-ones.

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Horizons

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The many faces of me

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Symbiotic

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Foot’n mouth
*never before shown in public
And if by some small miracle I’m able to complete the Moon and Me then I’ll show this piece as well.

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Sorry for the poor photo quality on that on its still very much in progress so I haven’t taken any quality pics.
Well thanks again for stopping in tomorrow I’ll be dropping off the piece for the Capitol building juried show

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I’m so excited to just be a part of the event, who cares if I “win” or place in my mind I’ve already accomplished my goal. The Capital show will hang from 2/28/14 thru 3/7/14.
As always, Be Brave, be Bold and Thrive in the life you have.
Much love and light
Benjamin
2014

Talking it out

There are days when the pain and fatigue are more than I can find words for. Sadly often those days are when people need me to be socially ” better” and not a guy shuffling around with Parkinson’s and stage 7-8 pain. See that’s the silly thing about neurological disorders is they change the singles and the way the brain sends or does send signals out. Today my hip sockets deep deep down inside where my spine joins the pelvis is basically on fire. Literally like waves of electric fire is washing over the bones. No amount of Percocet ever really tames the pain. It robs me of my leg strength and makes sitting impossible and standing almost unbearable.

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Today reminds of this painting
The Many faces of Me
20×20″
Mixed media
2014
As my days can change at a without notice. Then again I think that’s true for all of us.
This post has lapsed into the next morning it now being 2/17/14 4:30am pst
I just to my morning pill and am doing the grandpa shuffle around the house, a fairly common thing for me so no big deal though my tremor is stronger than normal this morning so typing on my phone is a bit of a challenge. I like to think of it as trying to walk across one of those bouncy castles you have to catch the rhythm just right and move in short burst. Well being this early in the day it’s time to do two things drink coffee and get painting.
I’m so close to finishing at least the first layer of hand detailing on the red coral piece. I can see the finish line yay, then some planned changes to the back ground and viola we may just have one more piece to add to the 2014 collection. Anyhow I believe it’s Monday today so happy Monday it’s Presidents’ Day hear in the states which means the kiddos are home from school and I virtually have the house to myself since the girls will be out I town most of the week. Hmmmm what kin of trouble can I get into ;) lots I’m sure but I won’t. I’m a good good boy.

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I hope wherever you are that you have a great day and that the world is kind and generous to you. Should you ever need a kind word or reminder if how absolutely brilliant you are please look my way I’m always here for.
Much love and light
Benjamin
2014

Lonely heart **An ode to love both lost and found

A lonely heart yearns for what it has not.
But a calm place to rest the head and heart.
A space that let’s the soul sing and the knights fire come alive.
Tis but a place in books and the memory of men that this hollow heart once remembers.
Given such days of love and want.
Gone with each passing moment does a dying man find comfort in small word of black and white.

It rained again and I thought of you alone in the mirror wondering how and why..
How and why has this loathsome ache replaced the beating heart.
Has not love filled it’s chambers a thousand times for a thousand years.

I give you love not written in paper nor sung in song but eternal in the knights sky for he and me are I

Benjamin
2014