There are days when the pain and fatigue are more than I can find words for. Sadly often those days are when people need me to be socially ” better” and not a guy shuffling around with Parkinson’s and stage 7-8 pain. See that’s the silly thing about neurological disorders is they change the singles and the way the brain sends or does send signals out. Today my hip sockets deep deep down inside where my spine joins the pelvis is basically on fire. Literally like waves of electric fire is washing over the bones. No amount of Percocet ever really tames the pain. It robs me of my leg strength and makes sitting impossible and standing almost unbearable.
Today reminds of this painting
The Many faces of Me
As my days can change at a without notice. Then again I think that’s true for all of us.
This post has lapsed into the next morning it now being 2/17/14 4:30am pst
I just to my morning pill and am doing the grandpa shuffle around the house, a fairly common thing for me so no big deal though my tremor is stronger than normal this morning so typing on my phone is a bit of a challenge. I like to think of it as trying to walk across one of those bouncy castles you have to catch the rhythm just right and move in short burst. Well being this early in the day it’s time to do two things drink coffee and get painting.
I’m so close to finishing at least the first layer of hand detailing on the red coral piece. I can see the finish line yay, then some planned changes to the back ground and viola we may just have one more piece to add to the 2014 collection. Anyhow I believe it’s Monday today so happy Monday it’s Presidents’ Day hear in the states which means the kiddos are home from school and I virtually have the house to myself since the girls will be out I town most of the week. Hmmmm what kin of trouble can I get into lots I’m sure but I won’t. I’m a good good boy.
I hope wherever you are that you have a great day and that the world is kind and generous to you. Should you ever need a kind word or reminder if how absolutely brilliant you are please look my way I’m always here for.
Much love and light
Good morning, I can’t even begin to tell you how absolutely wonderful it is to see you here today. Or for that matter how lovely it is for me to be here this morning. As you may or may not know since my move out to the country I have gained a private studio space, heated with separate entrance real windows and an office. (which still isn’t set up) One of the things that I didn’t take into consideration when I moved was the fact that I was no longer living with some of the amenities of the city such as a the bus, or having my son and daughter even remotely close to the schools that they attend. Oops, poor planning on my part. So there are days when I literally have mere moments to myself before I have to attend to the needs of others.
Such is life. That being said it does give even greater pleasure to the time I do get to spend in the studio. Below you will find a number of pieces **All of which are works in progress, please join me as we take a short walk through my most recent adventures.
This piece is very close to being finish, its comprised of gold flake enamel and various cadmium of yellow, orange and white.
“The Last Dance” 9″ x 12″ mixed media 2014
This piece has yet to receive it final definitive depth coat a signature final varnish or truly be finished but I’ve had this image and feeling in my head and heart for weeks. If you will let me take you to your (our) past. That feeling of the last dance of the night, or a long good-bye from a date that started and ended innocently 24 hours after it started. I know I’m not verbally expressing myself well but that joy and longing, sense of completion yet a yearning for it to go on forever even though you know its time to go…. That is what I’m trying to express in this piece and will once completed. Hopefully to be completed after my morning tasks today.
This lovely miss is just a charcoal drawing that took about 1 minute to do ( 12′x 24″)honestly I am just looking at placement of the figures getting an idea of location, form and feeling. I’m going to be combing (hopefully) a number of styles into this piece. The Goodnight moon, idea with my classic figure style as well as a little surrealism done in the same fashion as Green Girl. We shall just have to wait and see how it all goes could work, could not.
by now everyone should be able to recognize this collection with their eyes closed , yes its a Coral piece one of two and it is very, very early in its development. As a matter of fact it only has one color so now its just a giant orange blob but I guarantee that will change shortly. If you haven’t had a chance to stop by and see the Love piece in its new frame then please do so, I think it turned out rather well. As always, Be Brave Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have. Should you ever need reminding of how truly gifted, special, unique and important you are to the world please come see me and we’ll talk. For it’s always harder to see the light you create for others when your standing in the middle of it.
Given the lack of stars above..
The fog has stayed for days..
Such darkness cold and loneliness
Lives only in the hearts of men and monsters .
As I search the electric light of the universe for strength
signs of love, peace and tranquility.
A body full of pain and fear
as one paints a pretty face to keep the demons at bay .
Tired of playing games tired of life’s trials they say “what does not kill us makes us stronger”.
My question is then a Sir/Madame
How strong does one need to be? And why ?
Why not kill me where I stand as you’ve done my father and fathers father.
Why slowly crush my life from the inside out?
Such pondering wandering a on this starless morning.
No moon to flirt with no wanten kisses.
To lose thoughts upon…
Just paint and pills, dots and dashes.
People have often asked where the inspiration for blue moon came from. Here’s a hyper close view of the painting I drew inspiration from. If you can pull in close to my piece and you’ll see what I mean
Over the years I’ve drawn inspiration from so many sources, people,artist, music,lovers,silence and of coarse emotions and nature.
It’s hard to say who or what has influenced me more
Juan Miro or Picasso.? Certainly Dali and Ernst surrealism have inspired my style
Picasso esc themes can be seen through out many of my pieces, even hints of DeKooning and Jasper Johns, Pollock and Franz Kline
Then one day I think I came into my own:
It’s been an honor and privilege over the past year plus to be able to share my heart and soul with so many of you. Thank you for being on this journey with me, I couldn’t do it without you.
Life is a funny thing sometimes, full of firsts and last. Today for me is hopefully a day filled with firsts. This morning I shall take “Hearts on Fire“ the first piece to be created in the new studio to be shipped to its new home.
I also will have a first medically. I have my first appointment with my new neurologist today.
Actually she is a “Movement specialist” which basically means she specializes in PWP. I guess because we move funny Sadly I’ll be attending this rather major event solo as M has a surgery to attend to with her Mom. But on a very exciting and highly positive side. The main garage at the back of the house has now been hyper organized and is ready for use…Yes.. The car is happy once again, it gets to sleep inside. YAY!! You forget such luxuries when you always park your car in the garage. Like waking up and climbing into a nice warm car. Or not having to defrost ice and frost off the vehicle before you can go anywhere. Tis often these small luxuries that I forget about until they are gone. Make no mistake it is a luxury having a car let alone a place to put it in. I’m very thankful simply to have a house to put myself and children.
Okay well back on track then, I must say I’m very excited about a few things coming up in life. I just purchased some new wood panels from my wood guys. The reason I love these guys is simple. Most of the time when you walk into a “mans” store ( which is a joke btw) so please don’t take offence, if your not dressed in coveralls’ and layered in a fine powder of construction dust the service it crap and when you finally get some you either get treated like a newbie or simply an idiot. These guys that I buy from are not that way at all which I completely appreciate. I buy the panels in these huge sheets then the guys with their giant wall saw cut it down into manageable pieces for me, they’ve even loaded into my car on days when I feel exceptionally horrid. Wow! I’m wandering tons today… to get back on track I have a ton of new panels cut, some BIG pieces some normal 24×36′s and then my 24×24′s. Point being I’m happy. I have a new home that wont try to throw me down the stairs. I have a new studio in which I can both paint and have friends and clients over to and thanks to M and the kids with the back garage cleaned out I can set up my “shop” area so I can cut my own panels because I still have all of that beautiful vintage paneling I was given a while back.
Something I wanted to mention because it came up in conversation the other day, did you know I take trade as payment for paintings. So if you’ve ever had your heart set on a piece or a print but find that what ever price is listed is not doable please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m far far from being a rich man, I mean think about it. I live on a SSDI check that comes from the government, the things I need in my life are very few and very simple. And yes when you push the “donate” button on this site the funds really do towards pills and paint. I wont even go into the cost of being sick in America. Matter of fact I think a number of people have made documentaries on it already.
Well I’ll be a bit of a ghost around WP today as I’ll be heading out of town to go see my new doctor 3pm pst, if you want to chat you can find me fluttering about on Twitter and Facebook. I may end up staying overnight in Portland tonight depending on how I feel after the appointment. Often these things take a great toll on me physically and mentally so we’ll see how it all goes. Thanks for letting my monkey mind chatter away and sorry to be so wanderrie this morning. As always Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the Life you have.
ps. I need a new laptop mine died.
Such a gentle journey in the heart of kindness
flows all possibilities to the end of a long road less traveled.
Does your heart ache at the changing times
or do things of the coming past give you strength
to live a brighter day today and shine on for all to see.
I give you my heart in place of yours
Fear not these death lights dear one for they come in peace
to take your resting bones to place of holy.
Rest in the hearts of all who have loved you and always will.
Cry not for the passing and fill that space the pictures and
Dreams of the times gone by so that you may give that light
to all that continue on this earth.
Please take my strengths when you need it most
for I will borrow more the sun.
Please have my hand when the standing on ones legs become more to bear
than it ever has ever been.
Know that I am and will forever be for I always have and will always be
How does one “fight the good fight”? How do the weak become strong or the timid become brave? Because of people like you. And how does one truly give thanks to gifts they receive in life? There are so many ways that one can give thanks.
So it can be said especially during this holiday season I’m thankful for you. I appreciate you. You’re words give me strength, inspiration, hope, courage and passion. So thank you. I know so many of you ( us ) enter this holiday season with the burdens of the year behind us but still full on your backs and minds, you may wonder how,? How can I ( us, we, you and I ) go on? I’ve felt the same many many many times. When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease I had really no idea what to expect. Then slow, steadily and with out fail I watched as if from the outside my life fall away and I had very little if any control. Slowly I lost my ability to communicate well enough to run large companies the only thing I’d done since I was 18 years old. I watched as my body, a once well trained fighting machine became weak and unbalanced. I watched as my once steady hands began to tremble like a cold baby bird. I was scared, still am, but then something happened…..I found you, all of you and you found me.
So today I give thanks, thanks for my life that I have, for the friends and family that I’ve made with many of you. For it is the strength, hope, courage of many that build a world so strong with a voice so loud that nothing is impossible. It is because of you that the world is a better place. No matter how far beneath the struggle of life you may feel from time to time know one thing. You are strong, you are brave and you are beautiful and intelligent, worthy of all the good thing life has to offer. I believe in you, I appreciate you and I am thankful for you.
Happy Holidays everyone. Without you I never would have had the strength to become the man I am today.
Good morning, afternoon and evening. I think I missed a day. How have you been? I havent missed a day since I don’t know when. Things have been shall we say out of control to say the least. We have two days until the movers come and I must admit I’m in a bit of a state of shock, we’ve gone from talking about this supposed property that we might come into, to having the deal fall through a couple of times. Me demanding for people not to talk about it around me because I’m a huge dreamer and if you give me the chance to dream I will and I’ll dream huge. To now.. Two days and the Main house will be 100% remodeled new paint,floors through out, trim and appliances come today so I’ll be at the Farm house most of the day simply hanging out.
During the course of this adventure I’ve managed to break two ribs, work myself to exhaustion more time than I care to admit and had some huge fights.I also somehow managed to win my category in the “Something Red” juried show, again a thing I totally don’t get. Last year I didn’t even get an honorable mention and this year I win? Dont get me wrong I’m not complaining, just shocked. And now here I sit not having panted in almost a month and its making me crazy. But I guess that’s what change does right? We’ve talked about it before, rebirth is never easy especially when it’s basically your entire life.Thanks for sticking with me, an Art blog with out art must be kind of boring especially since I’ve been forced to torture you guys with my words That being said lets take a look and see if we can stare at some paint for a moment. Maybe something old that we havent seen for a while.
Inspired by yes Paul Jackson Pollock, this piece was done on paper using inks, oils, acrylics, gouache and anything else I could get my hands on. I was only 17 years old at the time but still this is one of my favorite pieces I’ve ever done, at least in this style. Funny thing is I’m not a huge fan of using this style. Most of my fascination with Pollock comes from the person he was and his views on art and paint itself.
Picasso, Miro and Dali being some of the other painters that have inspired me over the years, again not so much because of their paintings but because of who they were as humans and their unique view on art and paint. But I must admit im kind of fan boy when it comes to Picasso and I could and have spent hours staring at Dali work. One of the quotes Picasso is known for saying that I really appreciate is “Good painters copy, “great painters steal” and maybe its Artist instead of painters but I’m not to worried as I’m stealing his quote anyhow. For I to believe it’s not about being able to copy another work as it is the ability to embody the essence of the artist and make it your own. Therefore “stealing” and not copying.
Sabbia “woman at the beach”**Also one of the only neutral color tone pieces I’ve done.
Pi~Guy and the Cowboy
“Pi-Guy and the Cowboy”This piece tells a story of a symbiotic relationship based on mutual need and self-preservation.
again it’s not about copying the artist, as just about anyone can produce a painting like this, in fact many artist have copied Picasso. But not many can embody the master and make his style their own.
Wow so I just realized I’ve been rambling Sorry, I miss my studio and I miss talking about art. OKay just to finish the ramble on art lets look just briefly at a couple more pieces and then I promise I’ll wrap it up.
A Miro inspired commission piece now living in the Mid-West.
And a Dali inspired piece, staying in my private collection.
Any how thanks for letting me sit and chat for a bit. I’ll be out at the Farm house waiting for appliances to show up and possibly working on getting the studio set up. I’ve been letting the construction guys use the space as a prep area for the rest of the house but after appliances come there isn’t really a direct need for people to come bouncing through my space. Okay its time for me to start my day. Something very rare happened last night….I slept,!!! yes really the whole night. Well from 10p-3a and for me that’s a lot of continuous sleep. I hope you have a great day and that the world treats you kindly and you it.
Much Love and Light
One of the things I’ve been dreading about the upcoming move is going through the boxes from my late father who passed aways very suddenly 05/30/2007 a day before my 37th birthday. During the course of my morning which started at 2am pst this morning 12/4/13 I found some very interesting files buried in one of the many boxes I’ve had the displeasure of going through today. It comes with mixed emotions that I share these things with you today. As complex as my relationship with my father was he and I share one very similar trait, we are (were) very sentimental, keeping notes and bits of paper from histories past as mementoes of things gone by. Pretty normal I imagine. While going through these boxes I found a file with my name on it thinking it would be report cards or kid related doctors stuff, I took a deep breath and opened said file. Much to my surprise it held only one envelope with my late grandmothers hand writing. In 1996 she submitted one of my poems to a national poetry contest. I didn’t know anything about it until I received an acceptance letter from the National Library of Congress stating that my piece published in an anthology book of poetry. Still to this day I’ve never seen the book itself but with the letter I found this morning I’ll be able to start narrowing down the possibilities. The following is that poem, written in 1983 when I was 13 years old.
Throwing stones through a glass room to the tune of deaf ears Cast away by a blind man with the temperance of steel and a heart like coal Do you understand his pain? Woe.. Do the hearts of the persecuted cry for the day of their release. A silent black death to take the place of the pain inflicted by their captures. I cry a blood stained tear for the meek and unwilling. I cry for you.
Benjamin M Prewitt 1983
Its been so long since ive thought about this piece, I can’t remember a time in my life ever that there wasnt conflict, small moments in time where things were smooth but it never seemed to last long. I guess things havent changed much in that respect. Maybe its due to my passion or my view of the world. Maybe its a reaction to the things I see and have always seen in humankind. Today should be a day a great joy. It’s the day of the Something Red reception and the downtown Salem Oregon Art Walk yet I’m wrought with conflict of the heart and mind. I often wonder if this is the curse of an artist and those impassioned beyond the “normal” or if by some way or some thing I’m just eternally broken. Cursed by the heavens to carry a cross that is not my own.
I hope the day is kind to all of you and you find in your hearts to love. That you find the courage, strength and hope you need to live your lives to the fullest without the burden I feel every waking moment of life.
Be Brave Be Bold and Thrive in the Life you have… and I will try to do the same.
Benjamin M Prewitt
1970-current a work in progress.
I miss you Dad where ever you are.
** photo taken Dec 1971, I was one year old. The painting behind him was one of his own and something I remember vividly.
I sit here in the rain not caring
Coffee diluted by mothers tears
I consume on a whim saturated and
cold. I’m tired again to the marrow.
Body fights me as the rigid grip
Of my mistress push inward how I
Yearn for my atlas to accompany me
So he may carry this burden instead of I
Pills forgotten equal penance paid in spades of shakes and quakes that cause
Pause and bring pain to the rain and I.
One day of peace from this burden one hidden moment in quiet place where a warrior could fill the sea with tears of pain and remorse.
Only moments of escape before duty call
To these halls that live in limbo. Only moments of silence before the next waves of anguish crash like an unrelenting maelstrom of crushing strain
Just you and I and the rain that soaks my attire. In these small moments I open my poets heart to speak my mind letting silent truths be told in riddles and rhyme
Just a small trickle that is the sea me..