I can not find the light today for the tears of my life have found me. Waking and breaking me into a thousand pieces again…. And again. This storm that I fight is to strong. To strong for me to fight alone. There are no words to be said no more paint to be bled the damage is done…. I’ve never been a happy boy always a dark wandering soul… Forever searching for that place to call home, always running from the darkness inside. Pushing those away that could stay if is let myself heal…. I don’t know what heal is anymore maybe I never did. A life time if disappointment has lead me here today… Alone again with my paint and words. The tears of the purple moon and I will cry and wash this day away… So much sorrow and regret. So much pain from things said and unsaid… To much for one heart to bare…. Strong enough to stand by my side??? Strong enough to watch me tare down these walls again and again till the boy inside is left weeping, fragile afraid if the knight. These days of pain and rain I can do without… Me and the Tears of the Purple Moon.
As the stars track clockwise through the heavens I’m reminded of these new changing times. Reflections of my past giving chase to tomorrows memories and dreams.
For whom shall I be now that I am once again free to be me, who is this knight of pure heart and black soul, Cast down from the heavens eons ago. Left to wander these time in paint and prose. Of lovers lips and and sunken ships that have sailed so long ago.
I search for myself amongst these things we think we need and wonder how and why and who am I.
I’m left with lineage, love anguish and tremor. Pain and paint,passion and woes. But this my friend is where my garden grows. From ashes and fire from human desire. These are the things I’ve become. Of drink and desire and maddening rage, one name, one word my love for I am he.
Benjamin,.. is all that I be.
**This poem was written 2013 but I find that it still holds true.
Oil pastel,plaster,inks and acrylics.
1/4″ birch panel.
As always thank you for joining me here, my home away from home… The studio. Reflections Is part of the “Love Language”
Series. This piece utilizes the panels natural grain helping the piece attain a water like consistency as the piece flows. Here I’ve used both a pallet knife and a number of brushes and scrapers to both add and manipulate the paint and added texture.
Please take a moment and reflect with me, this life, these times, days and minutes are only here for a brief time. Enjoy them, be thankful for the painful roads, the happy times and fill your day to day with memories upon which at your time you too may reflect upon.
Smile and be filled with the joys and lessons of your past.
As always to purchase or commission a piece please contact me directly all contact information can be found in the Gallery or Print tabs.
Please always try to remember to “Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have”
*** often in the course of my day 6,7,8 times a day I am overwhelmed by emotion and thought. I call it “med-head” it’s a result of the Parkinson’s medication I take and I must say it’s just as bad as having PD. I’ve reached stage 2-3 in my pd progression making it harder to articulate my emotions through spoken word, see, pd effects muscle control and as a human we use or voice box, throat and diaphragm to control the tone of our voice… Well I don’t really have that anymore nor do I have the ability to consistently hear my own tone of voice. In crowds of people I end up being silent where once I was “the host” of the show. It pretty much sucks.
Reference source: http://www.pdf.org/en/speech_problems_pd
Anyhow below is not other than a random string of thoughts, emotions and ideas tied to literally thousands of thoughts and emotions stemming from millions of “blips” that wander through my head. Cheers.
Into what darkness does this once shining light go?
Or will it’s thoughts of what was consume the very makeup of it’s foundation?
Return….. Slip again…
Morals what are they if not a code to live by….?
Choices so many of them. I think life should come in multiple choice
Path A: a lifetime of working
Path B: a life of adventure
Path C: free spin ;)
Tired… So tired of the monster, so tired of the child…. So tired of the fear and pain and insecurities of life.
All strong words that come with strong emotions. The trust we give a person when we had them our hearts is immense. We are saying here I am for all I’m worth and all I’ve done to be here today. For better or worse I am a collage of all the things I’ve experienced. It’s a very vulnerable state~
Words come and go like the people in our lives…..
Some we like more than others, some we like a lot until we find out their inner secrets, demons and some we like more…….
Such a soft spark of light glimmers in the distance~
Reminds me of the lost shores of
wanting and remembering all
the turns it took to find the light.
Passages left lost while opening doors
never sought after or imagined possible.
A Glimmering hope of a life only dreamed….. Of paint, prose, travel and smiles.
Such a soft spark of light glimmers in the distance~
It’s been a while. My apologies. Things have Ben going well. The new house and garden are coming along very well.
I’m starting this post 5/7/15 hopefully I’ll post it today but if not at least we have a starting reference point. It’s Thursday here in the states. A beautiful sunny day as I write to you from the back garden.
I’ve been doing some painting on a few pieces one you’ve seen before but it’s taken a year to create.
I should have pressed the post button, I’ve been doing a small amount of painting or rather I painted a small painting:
1/2 birch panel
This piece was the first of many inspired by my new garden and new chance and chapter in my life.
**Garden flower inspiration
Collage of close-ups and original painting. As always Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have…
Talk to you all soon.
“A life in progress”
If you’ve never known love you should try it. It comes in many flavors, shapes and sizes. Some to be worn only after dark and others all year round.
Love being a thing one wants to hold onto comes in both a large and travel sizes so whether your on the go or staying in for a while love will be there when you need it, want to give it and have to keep forever.
Some love is heavy while others are lite. Some love stays forever and some touches us just for a sec to remind us why we are alive.
So if you’ve never know love then do so but be warned once bitten by the love bug nothing will ever be the same.
“Be brave, Be bold and Thrive in the life you have, you never know when things will change”
**original photo processed with Adobe and Instagram filter 2015 BMPStudio**
With such gentle touch does this flower open for a taste…
Soft silken petals wet from the morning mist….
Like waking from a warm dream
Embraced and cared for held safe and sound.
Such a feeling comes only from those who truly love us like the morning rain loves the sun or the leaves love the breeze. Oh to be touched deep within the heart without the fear of distrust or jealously.
Such lessons are the hardest after the mirror of innocence is broken. I search deep in my heart and soul to find the strength and love required to quiet these demon so I may stay to watch your flower grow…
“Be brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have, we never know when things will change.”
My multi-talented guest today exudes calm and passion in equal abundance and I was delighted when Sue Vincent accepted my invitation to share her Defining Moments. During my research I came across some incredible interviews packed with information so today I am going give you a brief introduction to Sue’s life and work and then focus on what she considers those key times that impacted the direction her life was taking at the time.
Sue’s life has not all been plain sailing and in fact there have been times when tragedy and life’s events have resulted in a complete rethink in both lifestyle and location. It is clear however that these events also according to Sue, changed her outlook for the better and that love and laughter thrived.
We often joke about the North/South divide in the UK but Sue has experienced that for herself. Having made the choice…