Chrysalis ~

IMG_2678.JPG
“Chrysalis”
20.5″ x 27.5 unframed
Mixed media inks,varnishes and acrylics
.
2016
Deep sleep, calm after the chaos.
Change and direction. All these things I hope you’ll find in Chrysalis and much much more.

   
   

Each day we are given the luxury of life,perception and self. Who will you chose to emerge as.

Namaste 
Benjamin M Prewitt
2016
“a life in progress”

IMG_9627.JPG

Thank you and goodnight

It’s been 5 years since my diagnosis and 5 years of living hell. It took my wife, my children, my career and my self worth all in one swift day. Well I’m done.
“Expressions of my life” is done. I’ll still do paintings on commission and possibly show but I feel that this blog has caused me more hurt than good. I tried to reach out and became so swept up by everything social media that I lost myself. To be honest when I look at myself I feel sick and worthless and there isn’t anything Else I can say. I’ve been judged at every turn of this fucking life and I’m tired. Right now I’m at risk of losing everything. My past, my present and my future and its fucking killing me. I can’t go on like this anymore. I’ll leave this up for 12 hrs then as the French say.
Adieu,

Benjamin M Prewitt
“A wasted life”
1970-

IMG_2601.JPG

A time of love,loss and lies~

There was a time that you loved me.
When the look in your eyes spoke of passion and wonder.
A time nights became days
And sunsets blended to sunrises
What seemed like days of talking and walking..
Then life came to play and the demons peaked from the shadows
Yours, mine it didn’t seem to matter
Anymore who’s they were they were always there.
Now you don’t look into my eyes
Not tonight…
The loves not behind what I see
only lies lurk, hidden truths fearful to leave the lips as they though just being words can kill this love…
Whispered thoughts of do I dare I?
Echoes of silence cloud my mind as slip back into the streaming thoughts and letters that fall from the sky….
Falling, failing, father forgive me.

The end.

Benjamin
2016
“A life in progress.”

** A piece about sorrows and insecurity, deceit and love.
Just words put together in no specific order.Not a reflection of my current life.
Cheers
B.
Please remember to keep love in your heart always for the darkest nights can be warmed be its unseen fire.

IMG_2140

Science Time 

http://www.pdf.org/en/speech_problems_pd​

Speech, self perception, the ability to hear ones own tone. All of these are serious factors to PD. I find them personally to be rather problematic as a young man trying to stay active both physically and mentally/socially. It can be especially hard for caregivers to interpret their clients if they don’t establish and keep a very open line of communication. Asking as often as needed ” your tone sounds X but your expression says Y. ” and vice versa. Honestly it’s one of the most frustrating things ever to never really know if I’m coming across as I’m trying to. Sadly oftentimes I find out afterwards that I haven’t which makes for either an awkward conversation that usually ends up making me feel insecure about my ability to communicate and perceive situations. Or in social situations blank stares and awkwardness. Blah………. That was a mouthful, lol. Anyhow Parkinson’s disease sucks so if you know someone with PD have patience because I can gaurentee no matter how frustrated you may be it’s 100 times more frustrating for the person with PD. Below is a cut and paste of the text from the link provided above.

As always thanks for your kindness and concern. Life with PD is a challenge every second of everyday but with the love,support and kindness of friends,family and friends unmet my life has been bearable and for that I’m forever thankful.

The donation button on my site is truly for paint and pills. It’s easy to have a great quality of life when you require very little. I spend over 25% of my total income on health care and the remainder on housing and food, the life of an artist and life on SSDI, it may not be the most glamorous life style but I’m free to spend my time almost anyway I choose symptoms permitting.

Cheers,
Benjamin
2016
“A life in progress.”

Speech and Communication

By Angela Roberts-South, M.A., Ph.D. Candidate
The ability to communicate clearly is critical to maintaining existing relationships and to forging new ones. Parkinson’s disease (PD) can compromise this ability, and it is important for people with PD and their care partners to know that there are strategies available that can help to improve their communication abilities.
Communication Challenges in Parkinson’s
Each person’s experience with Parkinson’s is unique, and this holds true for communication. Symptoms vary and can change as the disease progresses.

Language and Memory
. Some people with PD experience changes in cognition and language, which make it difficult to think quickly, to manage multiple tasks, to find words or to understand complex sentences. These changes, even if subtle, can make it challenging for a person with Parkinson’s to follow a conversation. For example, I often hear people with PD say, “I know the word I want to say, but I just can’t find it.” A related problem can be the time it takes to formulate ideas. Together, these problems can create pauses in the conversation and cause others to become unsure about when it is their turn to speak. In a fastmoving group discussion, others may not wait, and the person with PD can find him- or herself getting left out. It may help to make others aware of these challenges, and to check in with the person with PD to see if they have anything to add.

Emotions and Gestures
. People with PD can have difficulty recognizing both words and facial expressions that convey emotions. At the same time, they may speak with a ‘flatter’ voice and make fewer expressive facial expressions, meaning that their faces communicate less meaning to their listeners. The same goes for physical gestures. Body language adds emphasis to a speaker’s words, but in PD the speaker often has a compromised ability to make gestures. Together, these symptoms can affect how listeners interpret intended emotions such as humor, irony or sarcasm.

Speech and Voice
.

 About 90 percent of people with PD will experience changes in their voices or their ability to make speech sounds at some stage of their lives. Most commonly, the voice becomes quieter. It can also develop a breathy or hoarse quality. These changes may make a person’s speech less precise and more difficult to understand, especially when speaking to partners who have hearing loss. Researchers believe that these symptoms are due to brain changes that make it difficult to follow internal cues, telling us how loud the voice should be or how much effort is required to produce clear speech. Then there is the matter of the speed at which people speak. Some individuals with PD may speak more slowly. Others — perhaps 10 percent — accelerate their speech so much that they stumble over sounds, and seem to be stuttering.

Walking and Talking
. People with PD may find it difficult to communicate while walking or doing other tasks. Speech may become softer, and less clear when moving around. The problem may be exacerbated if the person also is trying to express complicated sentences. People may also experience more frequent and longer pauses in conversation. The reverse of this is also true. People with PD may change their walking pattern or have more challenges maintaining balance when they are trying to talk while walking.

Tips for Improving Communication

Certain strategies for improving communication work better for some people than for others, or may need to be adjusted at a different stage of Parkinson’s. The key to managing these problems is to remain flexible and to find a strategy that works for you. For all of these, the best results will come from working with a speech language pathologist (SLP).
Exercise the Voice. A well-studied technique for increasing vocal volume is the Lee Silverman Voice Treatment (LSVT®). It is an intensive voice exercise program that helps people with PD speak more loudly and clearly, and make facial expressions that are more emphatic. Therapy is conducted over the course of one month (four visits per week), under the direction of an SLP who is certified in the techniques. People with advanced PD, or with more severe cognitive changes, may face challenges in applying these techniques.

Speak Above the Crowd
. For people who have difficulty making their voices louder, there are devices that optimize the natural tendency we all have to raise our voices above background noise. This natural tendency is called the Lombard effect. One device, called a SpeechVive®, is worn in the ear like a small hearing aid. When a person begins to speak too quietly, the device plays a background noise into the ear. The onset of this noise and the brain’s natural tendency (i.e., Lombard effect) results in the person with PD increasing their voice volume without having to think about doing so. Recently, a small study showed potential for a lasting benefit – the people who wore the device daily for eight weeks had a continued therapeutic effect even when not wearing it. An app for the iPhone called iParkinson’s works in a similar way although evidence on the therapeutic effect of this app is limited.

Pace Yourself.
Reducing the rate of speech can be very challenging for individuals with PD. Concentrating on slowing down is typically not effective for more than a few words at a time. Sometimes, therapies that focus on voice and speech, such as LSVT, can help to reduce the rate. There are also devices that can record a person’s voice and play it back to them using an earpiece with a very subtle delay. This is called delayed auditory feedback. Another approach to slowing speech down is to use pacing therapy and/or pacing boards. Pacing board devices can be very simple, such as a series of cards with printed shapes or words on them that the person touches in sequence with every spoken word. This slows down the rate of speaking. There are smartphone and tablet apps that serve similar purposes.

Amplify with a Microphone
. There are various amplifiers that may help, such as the personal amplifier, which requires the person with PD to wear a small microphone that picks up the voice, and a speaker that amplifies it. These devices range widely in size and in sound quality. They amplify the person’s voice to the same level for everyone. Some people may only need their voices amplified when they are talking on the telephone. There are telephones that amplify the voice to the person on the receiving end of the phone. Lastly, there are devices called wireless personal FM systems, borrowed from the hearing loss community, which can effectively amplify the voice with excellent sound quality. With this device, the person with PD wears a transmitter around the neck and a small microphone. Their conversation partner wears a receiver around the neck, equipped with an ear insert or tiny headphones. In situations where the person with PD needs to talk to more than one person at a time, each listener wears a receiver of their own and can set the amplification level that is comfortable for them. These devices are useful for conversations happening at longer distances (e.g., between rooms).

Think Outside the Voice
. While rare in PD, there are times when a person’s speech becomes extremely unintelligible. In these cases, it might be best to use specialized devices that ‘speak’ for you. Devices range from low-tech alphabet boards to high-tech computerbased devices that become your ‘voice.’
Find an Approach That Works for You

IMG_2631.JPG

Into the night sky

Into the night sky I look
Pondering the what and
The whys of the world.
What is that and why is this?
These things wander my mind like the stars of the night sky tho I dare not linger for fear of being lost in the night sky.
Gentle… Soft like a slow reflect lake on a mid Summer’s dream lost in the mountains… Day dream….
Sleep……
So goes the night sky a million, billion , trillion miles from home and just…. One me, one story not so silent in the night. Screaming with a quiet voice hushed by years of fear.
Falling…… Just, before…. You….. Sleep…
.
.
.
.
I’ve never left, I’ve always been here in some form. This night sky and I so many tears, fears and cheers for the fallen angels and broken spirits. So much care and concern for everyone but myself….. Then nothing lost expressionless, pale colours molt into mud underneath a pallet knife controlled by fears and tears and falling stars.
This night sky and I.

Benjamin.
2016
“A life in progress ”
**free write, may contain moments of truth and or fiction as I perceive my world and yours.

Photo from: https://instagram.com/p/BAYUNdop33DLlNTfoLDClZY28ZKdYhKFLRqBfM0/