Everything changes

Everything changes
The moon and sun slowly drift into their places.
Time and time again.
The stars rotate above our heads
give guidance to a weary soul.
Spring turn to summer
Summer to fall
The winter blankets my heart
with it’s cold embrace.
The mountains of our past
Become the sands of tomorrow
And from the smallest seed
does the mightiest grow.
Everything changes….
Except one thing…

My love for you.


Words I’ve said before~ vetus anima:

vetus anima:

As the stars track clockwise through the heavens I’m reminded of these new changing times. Reflections of my past giving chase to tomorrows memories and dreams.
For whom shall I be now that I am once again free to be me, who is this knight of pure heart and black soul, Cast down from the heavens eons ago. Left to wander these time in paint and prose. Of lovers lips and and sunken ships that have sailed so long ago.
I search for myself amongst these things we think we need and wonder how and why and who am I.
I’m left with lineage, love anguish and tremor. Pain and paint,passion and woes. But this my friend is where my garden grows. From ashes and fire from human desire. These are the things I’ve become. Of drink and desire and maddening rage, one name, one word my love for I am he.

Benjamin,.. is all that I be.

“Written once and spoken a thousand times in my heart”

Words on Pain and Parkinson’s

Sometimes I feel me slipping away..
Beneath the pills and pain.
Silently watching the shakes and quakes.
Silently screaming as the words fail time and time
again to come from my mind to my mouth.
The worst nightmare one can imagine.
To slowly slip away in both body and mind.
To watch helplessly as one fades….fades away…..
Like a cannibal chef slowly carving off slices,..one…piece at a time…
Taken away by the sandman.
Rotten bastard that he is…
So much memories hovering just above,….Just out if reach.
It’s comical to watch a life fade away in a burning bright cosmic flash of brilliance dimmed by time, fear and pain.
More pills create more movement
More movement creates
More pain… More pain creates more pills
and the circle is complete.

3:35a pst

**even in Latin it says I’m fucked.


cofio i mi ~ Remember me

There are no words made to express
The depth of my love.
Nor colors pure enough
to express the tenderness of my heart.
For open up the sky to the stars above
and gaze upon the beauty I see in your eyes.
The gift of gentleness I felt in your arms,
Speaks in a voice softer than the wind.
There are no songs that can sing to an angels
soul like yours has song to mine.
And no ocean vast or simple sea would
I not cross to lay in your arms once again.


Personal collection.
A story of interpersonal

Decisions ~life,love and paint.

Two days of inner sunshine…..
Two days of a calm I haven’t felt in years and better yet a slow acceptance of many of the situations in my life both in and out if my control. Sigh~ it’s been along time.. I’d like to say my PD is having a good as day as my soul and heart but I’ll take 2 out of 3 any day.
As of 3-4pst today 7/21/14 I’ll be out of pain pills. I have a 10a appointment at the docs tomorrow and a massage at 1p so if I can’t get my script filled in between life is going to get very very interesting. So much for planning ahead right. I called in Thursday of last week so I could avoid this little (HUGE) issue but didn’t hear the call in Friday from the doc until to late on that same evening.. Oops..!

Anyhow there are some huge things going on I’ve acquired a person to help me get organized a PA if you will. So hopefully I won’t miss anymore important dates and times.. “Hopefully” also the open studio tours are coming up in September 13-14 and the buildings grand opening in August 6th. I may or may not be making a couple more trips back east before the year is out that still remains to be seen. I also will be traveling in late august down to the Nevada area to spend some time with my birth mother and last grandmother. I’ve been putting the finishing touches on my latest collection of paintings and I have to say, which I do rarely that I’m pleased with the way they look.

Broken Heart

Tranquility two

Dreaming of Autumn

So today has been a pretty good day despite the relentless pain and Parkinson’s BS. I also shipped out some limited edition prints today. Not to be confused with my crated site where the prints are not signed and numbered. Though of good quality the crated site is designed for mass market.

Well it’s time for me to rest a bit. I hope the day has treated you well and please remember to always.. Be brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have.

“A life in progress”

Spent the day painting….

Today I must say has been an interesting day. I’ve created art all day long sans for a few moments a good friend came to visit and the one single phone conversation I’ve had all day.

It’s a bit odd actually to spend the day so silent an within my own thoughts. Generally not a place I like to spend a lot of time. The more I think the more I analyze and the more I analyze the more difficult I tend to make my life. So staying busy and communicating with people is always enjoyable for me. Anyhow today apparently is about the paint and not the people. Here is quick look at the progress of the Untitled Coral series piece I started this morning as well as these three small square pieces I’m fooling around with which may or may not come to about to anything. Say hello to Coral,
This piece is still a work in progress. And a couple of close ups. I’ve left some of the natural wood grain apparent in the background that in time and layers I’ll be able to achieve a “watery” kind of illusion with it.



I’ve also re-learned that I probably should wear shoes of some kind in the studio, though I don’t really care to.

And then the 3 little ones I’ve been playing with.

The day has been gorgeous here today though I’ve been inside for most of it. The studio has wonderful windows so plenty of light comes in. Well my friends it time to put down the electronics and paint brushes for a while. Bye for now..
And much love.


Completed~Dreaming of Autumn

Close up #1

Close up #2

Close up #3
Words ~ on Dreaming of Autumn
I yearn for you as the sands cries
each time the waves say goodbye
Just as the moon slips far from sight
Only to give way to his lovers dawn
Each breath my last till the next
Takes its place by your side as I
Desire to be but can not.
On this mid autumns song……

Dreaming of Autumn
16″ x 20″
Mixed media
Down town studio
175 usd

Today’s paint 7/19/14

All the pieces here today have just been started, I textured last night and applied first paint this morning.

Work(s) in Progress

Dreaming of Autumn
16×20 inches

Untitled *Coral Series 2014
24×24″ inches
This last one is just me playing with
These little canvasses I brought back from Ottawa.

Coral Mini

I do hope your well today. I’ve just returned from my morning walk and spent about 5-7 hours from last night to this morning play with paint. Please stay tuned for updates later.
“A life in progress”

Pain~a Parkinson’s song

The pain of this body
Finds me before the dawn
On this summers day.
I wake to the still of night
Wracked with this torturous
Hell of body fights body
Limbs twist and pull
At each other as mans
Medicine fails time and
Again to ease the burden
Of this broken heart
And broken body.

The time moves so slowly
On these days as I find my last
Waiting in the wings as life passes
Me by, even the elders speed by
Walkers in hand as the disease holds
Weep, weep does my inner child as
The man drags these borrowed bones
From place to place.
A smile on my face as I worry and wonder what comes next.
Tired, so tired of the follies of this
Earth. Leaving me weak of heart and shaken as a man seeing his life fade.
Painting my days away in hopes to leave a small piece of heart, mind and soul behind for all to remember.
Ode’d to my ever present pain and fickle mistress of the mind and body.


Currently in display in the Salem public library.

New works~New Life

So I took a day off. Why because honestly I’ve some things going on in my life that have emotionally hijacked me and made it virtually impossible to create. Though the other night I locked myself in the studio with my old friend Grand Mariner and stayed up till 3a painting and listening to music.

Honestly I think it was the best thing I could have done. I cried, laughed and eventually realized that none of this pain that I’m carrying around is mine.
Sadly being me is being a fixer and when I give my love, heart or word to someone I give it 110% now most of the time when someone receives a gift like that it’s a good thing and a very special bond is created but occasionally *once* you’ll meet someone that either doesn’t want to be fixed, helped or healed or they don’t feel or posses the emotional capacity for some reason to except the kind of gift I have to offer. For a fixer, warrior, protector to be aced with a situation like this especially in matters Of the heart it’s devastating or can be.
Well me and Mr. Grand Mariner had a long talk and cry over it and decided to do our best to move on and as part of the process as you can imagine I painted…a lot.. So please join me in a celebration of colors, light and texture.
This first piece is a bit of a departure from what your seen me do it has little texture except for the markings.

The next two you’ve seen but since have been signed.

“Broken Heart”

“Tranquility two”
Then we have the last piece which is still a work in progress it’s not signed and as with life and many things in it we just don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

Dawn has just arrived here on the west coast, the birds are singing and the air has a lovely chill which I shall enjoy till the heat of the day arises.
Where ever you are and what ever your doing I hope the world fills your heart with joy and gives you peace of mind.

Much love and light.
“A life in progress”