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Questions~words and thoughts all in a line

*** often in the course of my day 6,7,8 times a day I am overwhelmed by emotion and thought. I call it “med-head” it’s a result of the Parkinson’s medication I take and I must say it’s just as bad as having PD. I’ve reached stage 2-3 in my pd progression making it harder to articulate my emotions through spoken word, see, pd effects muscle control and as a human we use or voice box, throat and diaphragm to control the tone of our voice… Well I don’t really have that anymore nor do I have the ability to consistently hear my own tone of voice. In crowds of people I end up being silent where once I was “the host” of the show. It pretty much sucks.
Reference source:
http://www.pdf.org/en/speech_problems_pd
Anyhow below is not other than a random string of thoughts, emotions and ideas tied to literally thousands of thoughts and emotions stemming from millions of “blips” that wander through my head. Cheers.
B.

Into what darkness does this once shining light go?
Or will it’s thoughts of what was consume the very makeup of it’s foundation?
Stuck….
Falling…….
Return….. Slip again…
Morals what are they if not a code to live by….?
Choices so many of them. I think life should come in multiple choice
Path A: a lifetime of working
Path B: a life of adventure
Path C: free spin ;)
Tired… So tired of the monster, so tired of the child…. So tired of the fear and pain and insecurities of life.
Whore…..
Why…..
Hate….
Sick…….
Tired…..
Alone……
Broken…….
Afraid ………
All strong words that come with strong emotions. The trust we give a person when we had them our hearts is immense. We are saying here I am for all I’m worth and all I’ve done to be here today. For better or worse I am a collage of all the things I’ve experienced. It’s a very vulnerable state~
Naked…..
Raw….
Truth…..
Hard…….
Afraid…..
Words come and go like the people in our lives…..
Some we like more than others, some we like a lot until we find out their inner secrets, demons and some we like more…….IMG_9932.JPG

Benjamin
2015
“A life in progress”

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Such a soft spark of light glimmers in the distance~

Such a soft spark of light glimmers in the distance~
Reminds me of the lost shores of
wanting and remembering all
the turns it took to find the light.
Passages left lost while opening doors
never sought after or imagined possible.
A Glimmering hope of a life only dreamed….. Of paint, prose, travel and smiles.
Such a soft spark of light glimmers in the distance~

Benjamin
2015
“A life in progress”

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Hi!! Yes I’m still here….

It’s been a while. My apologies. Things have Ben going well. The new house and garden are coming along very well.

I’m starting this post 5/7/15 hopefully I’ll post it today but if not at least we have a starting reference point. It’s Thursday here in the states. A beautiful sunny day as I write to you from the back garden.

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I’ve been doing some painting on a few pieces one you’ve seen before but it’s taken a year to create.

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LOL~ 5/13/2015
I should have pressed the post button, I’ve been doing a small amount of painting or rather I painted a small painting:

“Peony”
12″x12″
Mixed media
1/2 birch panel

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This piece was the first of many inspired by my new garden and new chance and chapter in my life.

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**Garden flower inspiration

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Collage of close-ups and original painting.
As always Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have…

Talk to you all soon.
Always
Benjamin.
2015
“A life in progress”

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PM Silliness and some photos

If you’ve never known love you should try it. It comes in many flavors, shapes and sizes. Some to be worn only after dark and others all year round.
Love being a thing one wants to hold onto comes in both a large and travel sizes so whether your on the go or staying in for a while love will be there when you need it, want to give it and have to keep forever.
Some love is heavy while others are lite. Some love stays forever and some touches us just for a sec to remind us why we are alive.
So if you’ve never know love then do so but be warned once bitten by the love bug nothing will ever be the same.

The end…..

B.
2015
“Be brave, Be bold and Thrive in the life you have, you never know when things will change”IMG_0807.JPG

**original photo processed with Adobe and Instagram filter 2015 BMPStudio**

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Thought of the day

Each day we have the opportunity to start over. To view the the world through fresh eyes, heart and soul. The choice is ours…. Take it.

B.
2015

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I moved :-)

It’s been a few since I’ve written and thought it polite to give a wee update. Katelyn and I moved to a very cute little cottage out south here in town. I’ll be able to set up an outside easel this summer as the yard is huge!
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The house is small but has excepted us nicely it’s a 100 years old this year so we plan to show it great respect.

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Here are some quick photos from around the yard.

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Well it’s just after 6a here and it’s time for mass amounts of coffee and my meds. May all your dreams come true, I’ll be painting soon again and look forward to sharing the new creations and get back into selling and showing art. Here’s a blast from the past Circa 92′

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Please remember to be kind to each other for you never know when one small act of kindness could mean the world to the person receiving it.

Until next time.
Benjamin
2015
“A life in progress”

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Full Circle

Life……. What a topic right.! It’s been nearly 3 years since I started this blog.
And the other day as I watched the waves crash upon the shore of one of my favorite Oregon beaches I realized my life has come full circle in the time of three years.
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Continued: 4-1-15 Most of you know by now it takes me a few days to write these posts anymore, some because of my hands and this new iOS update that sucks….. Makes the keyboard split on my iPad.😡 Anyhow, I’m moving tomorrow.! Down town was a good place for me to blow off some steam and collect myself after the events of the last few years but the time has come to move to a “home” with a yard and neighbors with yards. There’s no question I miss a great many parts of my old life sadly I can’t change what happened I can only grow as a human, forgive my past and embrace my future.
I wanted to thank all of the people that have stayed with me on this journey from diagnosis with Young onset Parkinson’s disease,divorce, love, hate,failure and success. In the last few years Art and Parkinson’s disease have both crippled and set me free.for that I’m thankful everyday. Thankful and determined to fight this disease, thankful yet sad that it took a incurable progressive and degenerative neurological disease for me to clearly see what it’s like to truly live and love life to its fullest. Sorry for the sappy sentiment but ironically today 04-01-2015 known as April fools day here in the states is also the day that my government “Officially” lists me as permanently disabled :-/ Yay……. ( sarcasm ).

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Well after a few (3) hours of sleep I’m up once again except today…… I sign for my new place I begin moving, healing and starting a new future full of excitement and hope. Soon I’ll be able to paint again with same passion I have for years I dare say this new chapter of life may be my most inspirational yet. On a parting note I’ll ask you all one thing that I’ve requested before, please do one kind thing today for someone who doesn’t expect it.
Until next time, be brave, be bold and thrive in the life you have for you never know when it will change.

Always,
Benjamin.
“A life in progress”
2015

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Dreams of a child

Dreams:
When I was I boy I traveled the stars
On a bed with wings and chocolate bars
I soared with angels and fought with demons, changed the weather controlled all the seasons

When I was a boy I wandered the desert and gazed at the sky
I turned into a bird and learned how to fly.
I sailed in the oceans and swallowed a sea
Found my true evil she looked just like me.

When I was a boy a dream I was a man stable and sturdy healthy and strong
Now I’m a man and dream as I may
Something was lost to a far younger day.

There was a calm that came across the morning sky as if all the angels has sung at once.
My heart and head rested in this silence guided by dulcet tones of calm.
Hues is blue, gold and green washed over me as if the palette of god painted my soul it self.
My body rested from its pain,tremor and twisted long enough to hear the angels sing.
A gift of serenity, peace and calm I will cherish through out the day.

*** today was a hard day.
B.

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Sneak peak ;) 03-15-15

There be paint on these hands again!! Woot!! Here is a very brief look at my current work in progress.
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And then another;

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Here we are seeing just the first layers of color and texture. I intend to add a secondary layer of both color and texture at a later point using the same technique seen in the “Love Language” collection.”

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Well then my dear friend and family I hope your all doing well. Much love and may all your dreams come true.

Benjamin
2015
“A life in progress”