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Thoughts…. 9/2/15

Into what darkness does this heart fall daily, as I remember the things that I’ve left behind or lost along the way.
The slow torturous burn of guilt and regret.
The tears of doubt and question that flow from the heart and soul.
Questions not of where I am but of how I got here.
Such woe lives deep in my heart and reminds me that I’m a drift in a sea of my own making yet forced upon me like
A pair of cement shoes.
Drifting…… Always drifting…. My heart, my mind and my soul.
To afraid to be hurt again and yet to afraid to climb this mountain alone….
The end.

*** pay no mind to the pain in these words. They are just words that fall from the sky and I  try to catch them before they fall to the ground and are forever lost in the depths of my mind.
At this point in my Parkinson’s progression it’s taken most of my “working memory” to be honest I’m scared as hell. Parkinson’s disease has this not so lovely feature where it acts like many other disorders. That’s one of the reasons it’s so hard to diagnose.
Anyhow later this month I will be showing what hopefully will be a new collection at the OHSU Parkinson’s symposium.

Benjamin.
“A life in progress”
2015

Ps. I could use some prayers sent my way. They just discovered that there is something wrong with my thyroid normally I wouldn’t worry to much but life has a way of kicking my ass every single time I try to succeed. I see the endocrinologist today at 2p pst.

Much love and light.
B.

The painting is a sneak peak of the background color and texture of my next project.

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Patience~Completed

Hello, it’s nice to see you again. I hope the world and life has been treating you well. Things here the studio are slowly but surely picking up. Granted it’s been a year since I’ve sold piece but honestly I needed the time off to figure out this new life of mine. So many challenges both new and old. As I so often have done over the years I paint what I need in my life. So today I’m pleased to introduce you to:

Patience
24″x24″ (60cm)
Mixed media
1300 usd

  
To follow is a few close up photos. About 90% of this piece was done with a pallet knife and a homemade device similar to a squiggie or window scraper. The rest of it was hand detailed with a small brush or painters cloth,in between layers of varnish and gloss medium creating a greater sense of depth.

   
   

In conclusion I’d like to remind everyone to practice patience, be kind to each other and most of all be kind to yourself. The world needs your contributions to make it a better place. Until we meet again.

Benjamin.
2015
“a life in progress”

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Hello….

Fun with filters :) Happy Sunday.. B. 2015 #Art #Home #garden #photo #thankful

A photo posted by Benjamin Prewitt (@bmp0531) on

Sundays are the day I get to see my son, it’s not much Time but I’m thankful for any time I get to spend with my boy.
I’ve started 2 more pieces that I’ll be posting on later. It’s stratify to feel like a the collection I growing again :)
For those of you who’ve stuck with me over the years I can’t thank you enough.
Well I’m off to enjoy the day. I hope wherever you are and what ever the world brings your way that it finds you well and full of joy.
Much love and light.
Benjamin
2015
“A life in progress”
**instagram photo is taken and staged in my backyard using a crappy iPhone 4s lol.
#ineedanewphone

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Happy Saturday :-)

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And remember, we have the choice everyday how we will encounter the day…. I hope it’s a great one.
B.
2015
“A life in progress”

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Another day in August 2015 ~ Paint,music and words.

Good morning, afternoon and evening. I hope this finds you well. Today here in the Willemette valley it’s finally cooling down only about 80 degrees. 

WORDS : thought stream writing.
The morning air has become crisp
As the summer slowly slips away
Gone for another year leaving behind
It’s golden memories of camp fires and s’mores.
Memories of the hottest days and warmer nights.
Times of laughter and learning, times of growth and the tears that come with it.
The morning air has become crisp and I’m thankful as I take your hand.
B.
2015

Today you may guess I’m thankful and you’d be right. I woke in stage 8 pain on my right side. Mostly my shoulder and my hip. See Parkinson’s travels. I presented with pain and massive stiffness on my left side, slowly over the last 4-5 years is been creeping over to my right. Oh well it is what it is.
People often think oh how horrible your in such pain. I suppose it would be if I didn’t simply decide to look at the pain differently. Yes pain hurts (duh) but for me I let the pain remind me that I’m alive, that I can still feel, move and talk…kinda lol. So yes Parkinson’s sucks but life does not!!

Okay well enough whining about pain, the day goes on. And for those of you reading this who live with chronic pain, depression and otherwise challenging circumstances. It will be okay…. It will get better.
And now for a little music to carry the day on its way…

And finally some paint…I’d like to say I’ve made huge strides in paint this year but sadly that’s not the case. Though I’m happy with the quality of the work I have done. This first half of the year was not meant to be a time of paint but a time of reflection,healing and growth.

 
Neither of them are finished yet but I’m getting closer. I’ve a show in PDX this September “OHSU Parkinson’s Symposium” and I’ll participate in the “Something Red” annual show but otherwise I’m not focused on being awarded for my participation in the Art community. More rather painting is my reward and my tool to help find balance and peace in this world. Well my friend as always it was a pleasure seeing you again do take care and remember to always be strong.

Cheers,
Benjamin.
2015

“A life in progress “

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The day. 8-12 & 8-13

Such a whirl wind are these days. I’m finding that I do like this little house, now the tricky part is making it a home. Trust and loyalty. Such simple words to say and such hard things to earn back once broken. A very dear friend, matter of fact you could say she’s my girlfriend has a saying that we’ve used around the house a few times . ” You can pull the nails from a board but the hole will remain.” Truth be told right now I feel a little like that board. Some things have happened over the last few months that have me worried about life. It sounds strange to hear because most if the time in my head I feel so very young, but I’m not sure how I feel about spending the rest of my life with someone who can’t even be true and loyal for 1 year….. I have to face it. I have Parkinson’s and unless the scientific community finds a cure, PD will eventually lock me inside this husk of a human form and take my life. Oddly enough I’ve come to except that in the scheme of things that scenario is one possibility. But as we all know it’s life and trust me I know better than most, the control we have over our lives is completely false, self-perceived and simply a mechanism humans use to ease the discomfort of living. Granted I do accept that these words and perceptions are my own. The perceptions of a man fight a clock planted firmly on the wall. Trapped in a body that’s slowly losing control. It’s pretty scary stuff.

Anyhow I’ve ranted enough about perceptual life. On a completely different topic. As most of you can tell I’ve started painting again. I’ve not written in a year nor have I painted much but as of late the scales have tipped and it’s time. Life had kicked me so hard I’d forgotten my purpose. I let the anger, guilt and sorrow I feel cloud my judgment. It made me forget that I’m hear on this planet to help people. I’ve been abused emotionally and physically all my life, now with Parkinson’s and the trials I’ve been through I’ve the most ever to offer. My life on a social level has to be dedicated to those in need. Through my art and words is once again hope to bring light into the world. Through my patience I hope to spread understanding, compassion and kindness. Parkinson’s has truly shown me that our time on this rock is short and that life can give and take in moments notice so surround yourself with people who show you in their actions that you are loved. Give to those who have less than you. Forgive and teach the dishonest for the weight of truth in the end is a far more light a burden to carry than a life of falsities.
In other words be nice :)
Okay enough serious stuff.. Oddly enough I started this post with the idea that I’d share some photos I’ve been taking. Most can be found on my Instagram but for those without insta I figured I’d share here.

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The way home

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“A day at the river”

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Sunset

Well…. Here we are at the end of today’s story. Sorry to rambled but I’ve so much on my mind these days. If you do anything today please make it one act of kindness. Right then I’m off to tend to this physical life. I hope today and everyday finds you well and at peace with your world.
Until another time….

Always,
Benjamin
“A life in progress”
2015.

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Update on life,paint and things..

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I’m working on a new collection of work and hope to have most of the best pieces ready for the OHSU Symposium this September 26th in Portland Oregon. Honestly I’ve not much to say, I still have Parkinson’s disease  😉 and I still paint and write. I’m hoping to travel more next year while I still have the strength. But we shall see what the universe has in store. I’m finding more and more these days that my meds take longer to be effective and have a shorter “on” stage.

I’ve been walking and stretching constantly but the stiffness from the PD is pretty relentless. Well on that note I’m off to the doctors. Happy Tuesday, and please remember to be brave, be bold and thrive in the life you have. One never knows when when this adventure will end.
Always
Benjamin
“A life in progress”
2015

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8/6/15 first paint plus

With each passing day I regain my confidence in being alive. In being a person who expresses their passion through word and paint. When I was very young just as the world started to tear my world apart for the second time I realized I loved art, creating and simply dreaming/feeling in colors. Words made music in the air and my whole world changed. Please enjoy a first look at an “Untitled” work in progress .

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This piece is 24″ x 24″ 60cm(2) I’m using a standard trowel palette knife and my classic painters rag so far. Later in the development of this piece I’ll do the detailed hand shading. In this photo the upper right hand corner is deffused due to an artificial light source. I hope the world has been kind to you all and you to it. Please remember to be kind to each other for if not you.. Then who else??
Cheers.

 

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 Benjamin
Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have
2015

Everything changes

So the question is. If everything changes what are we working towards? Where are we moving towards, and what is the goal of this life..?
Kind of a heavy question… Well honestly, I see the answer as simple. It’s the getting there that’s hard. Happiness. Peace of mind and contentment is the goal. As a whole, I feel we’ve lost touch with what happiness is and means. Sure I know it’s different for each of us but in many ways it isn’t .

 Having and living with Parkinson’s disease at a young age has taught me that Happiness is our common ground, the one thing that all humans crave, we share the same desires to feel loved, to feel safe and cared for. These feelings translated into actions create a common, and mutual sense of happiness. A sense of home and well being. Sure money and stuff is nice, it’s a great distraction and creates an amazing sense of freedom, but at the end of the day we all die alone with nothing to take with us but the reflections of our lives. The sense that we accomplished something in our short time on this planet. For me it’s Art, family and the sharing of my story and journey through an un-curable progressive neuro-degenerative disease so that in the future it may be easier to understand and diagnose Parkinson’s disease.
Thanks again for stopping in an letting me share my journey. I look forward to seeing you again.
Benjamin
2015
“A life in progress”

**Todays thoughts are brought to you by a conversation I had with my 16 year old son. Today we talked about the finalization of my divorce. Trying to explain that even though life as both he and I knew it has changed it doesn’t mean that we, he or I can’t still be happy. That I still am the man, father and mentor I always have been regardless of where I live.

A little sneak peek of my current works.