Star bright apparently I won’t sleep tonight. And technically it’s not a start at all it’s the moon, but close enough for horseshoes and hand grenades I say Much love I hope your sleeping better than I Namaste Benjamin
As I ponder the who and what to write, words coming far faster than I can type or care to speak I’m reminded that a great many of you have not heard what small bits of my voice there is already recorded. At some point I’ll put a voice to most of my written words as I’ve been told my voice is not unpleasant. Personally I think it’s horrid but I think that’s fairly typical. Please feel free to find me on sound cloud if you choose. Here is a bit that it not paint or written words.
~Silence~ by Prewitt1970
As I push myself more and more each day to complete this monumental task of moving I find I break a bit more and more each day. Yet there is a peace in my heart knowing that my studio is nearer, that my children will have land to build homes of their own upon should they choose. A place for me to plant a mighty oak, a beautiful Paper bark birch and a willow that weeps. A place for my ashes to return to the earth. It gives me strength to know these things as my body does what bodies do. I’ve driven this race car of mine well and fast, I’ve taught it to fight and defend to love and to laugh. I’ve dressed it in fine things it has felt of a pauper and a prince in its time with me and I shall continue with it until its done and done as Parkinson’s will eventually have its way with me and take it away. But as I’ve said before and will say until I can say it no more. I may have Parkinson’s Disease, but it doesn’t have me… Not today.
Lol not fast at all actually… Remember the while pd thing…? Yeah kinda makes typing a thing of the past but my voice software works pretty good on the quick post. So today in a brief love ya gotta run kind of post. Started like this:
Me trolling tumbler at 3am for vintage stuff to amuse myself with the I actually decided to look at something inspirational:
Yes my buddy Pablo. I don’t think I will ever tire of looking and analyzing his work.
Of coarse the second one is mine, just a sketch when I was bored. A rather grumpy one I must admit. Then some quick thoughts by Michael:
Something I find interesting because I’ve always told myself the day I stop learning or think I’ve found all the answers is the day I stop.Everything. Then a quick run out the the goodwill to donate a whole truck load of stuff and I’m off to the farm house for a chat with the Plummer the general contractor and hang a few mirrors. Then I had to. Too what? You ask? Paint, well I’m not sure it’s really painting but I had to touch, smell, feel the paint in my hands again so I’m painting the frame of this antique mirror I picked up for the studio bathroom.
I just had to. I miss it so much anyhow I’ve got to run, soon some normalcy will return and I can get back to doing what keeps me happy, healthy and alive in heart and mind. Until we meet again.
Be brave be bold and thrive in the life you have…
Much love and light
A work in progress
Can you believe it was even okay to dress a kid like that. (Shame) lol
6. And as a winner of the award – please add a link back to the blog that presented you with this award – and proudly display the award on your blog – and start collecting stars!
Share your blog posts with an even wider audience.
So I’ve been trying to get this post put together for a week or so and have come to realize I will never complete it this year if I don’t just post it. There are so many more blogs that I wish to add to this list but I find I simply do not have the time or energy these days to do so. If you follow my blog and I follow yours then know you should be on this list. I simply have just run out of time, so please feel free to take an award and follow the instructions appropriately. I love and appreciate you all a great deal, I wouldn’t be here today without your support. Each one of you has touched my heart, healed my wounds given me light in the face of the heart of darkness or simply amazed me in so many ways. I think I may just continue to up day this until te end of the year. To many people I like to nominate
And now I’m paying it forward by nominating:
A seed was given to me to plant a beautiful tree, and in my heart I did and now I give it to thee. ** inspired by a friend.
Damn broken body…
Leaves me short stepped and slow, worn strain and pain frozen tight like the ice I see before me on these cold winters day…
But in the depths does the hearts fire deep from passion not stifled by worries of these borrowed bones
For as long as I wake each day my heart and soul will be painted for all to see. Art flows from abyss that once was a tortured soul broken from life’s vacuum of daily humdrum a brainwash of to do for who, how why and when.
Now I live free as a broken boy with a child’s heart the body of a man and a warriors soul.
** the link below is to the lovely human who bestowed such lovely words in bold above.
To those with no vision I give you my eyes
For you to see the world as I do.
To those without strength I give you my courage in hopes that you will find the strength you’ve always had
Take all these thing and tuck them away
Save them for another day.
When life gets hard and these things above
Seem to vanish from us and know that they may
Have faith my dear one, these memories will stay.
** I could never find the words adequately to say thank you to all the people who
Daily and freely give me a small piece of themselves, so I will simply continue to write and paint my heart and soul for the world to see and judge me by in hopes that someday a few things may happen. One being the world will find humanities heart once again. Two, that society will once again see that true passionate art isn’t dead. That the master painters of the past are not dead but simply have changed their names. The ideals, heads and hearts are still very alive in others. And lastly that we, you and I will once again learn to live simply of heart and mind, free like a child yet with the wisdom we’ve earned.
One thing that you should know, or understand about me is just because I talk about PD doesn’t mean I’m complaining. Honestly sometimes it helps me feel better about what I’m experiencing when I can share. It helps me feel not so alone or locked in my mind and body. Today has been a beautiful day here though super cold 27 deg / -2c this afternoon I made a quick run out to the Farm house and I must say I’m completely excited. It feels like one of those home improvement shows, a month or so ago, it was a destroyed foreclosure home with great bones, today it feels like a new home, granted it needs some finishing touches, vent covers, baseboards ect but overall it looks and feels 300% better.
But the Farm isn’t what I wanted to talk about today. Today I wanted to talk about PD a little bit. Pain for me personally is always a factor so we’ll not go there. What has me fully at it mercy are two separate symptoms of PD something pwp (people with parkinson’s) call, “slow” or Bradykinesia the other is fatigue.
** Beware sciency stuff
bra·dy·ki·ne·sia noun: \-kī-ˈnē-zh(ē-)ə, -kə-, -zē-ə\
It’s really hard for me to explain what this feels like, I know I’m moving slow because the rest of the world is passing me by, walking around me, giving me grumpy looks as I go through doorways or cross the street. As a person whom 2.5 years ago moved, thought and reacted as quickly and quicker than most people do I understand their frustration. Granted I disapprove of it on a whole other level than I did prior. Bradykinesia for me when it hits is often accompanied with fatigue that is on a cellular level, the kind of tired I imagine a diabetic fells as they slip into coma. Simply despite my best efforts to “go big” or act normal my body won’t move quickly. I shuffle like an old man, my arm swing on either arm is almost nonexistent. I have trouble speaking without a slur and often come across with a very childlike state of verbal expression.
The way I’ve tried to explain how PD feels to have is imagine jumping into a super cold pool or lake stay there until your body is so cold that you start to have involuntarily movement and despite your best effort to move you simply can’t move quickly, that stiffness the cold brings a normal healthy body the aches and pains it brings is the closest I can correlate to what PD feels like. I think Peter Gabriel in this song emotionally captures Parkinson’s pretty good.
Since that’s kind of a depressing way to end an honest yet non complaining post about some of the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease let’s take a look at some of the things it’s given me the time to do more of in my life:
The fine Art of Abstraction
And for those that need something tangible mixed with their abstraction
Depth of Woman
People often say how sorry they are for me because of the truly disabling factors of Parkinson’s disease and I’d be a liar if I didn’t have some days filled with self pity. As equally I’m happy to say that being diagnosed with PD was both the best and the worst day. It gave me back my life while taking one any and any rebirth is always painfully regardless cause. If your new to this blog,me or my art please take a moment in time and visit some of the “pages” in this site, Artist statement, press release or journal entries I’d like to think they can explain my life better than I can. As always be brave, be bold and thrive in the life you have.
It’s a rare day as if late that I’m not running errands or zipping off to the farm house to deliver packed boxes. Today was different though, we had our first snow of the year which is highly odd this early in the season.
Snow always brings a huge smile to my face. I braved the highly timid and snow shocked citizens of the town just once today. Thankfully driving in the snow doesn’t bother me at all.
Sadly in my tiny little town the mere mention of snow tends to send ppl into a tail spin. I spent the day packing and simply enjoying a nice warm fire whilst cooking a wonderful meal of roasted garlic and shallot baked chicken breast. Served with a smashed potatoes and a asiago and portobello mushroom sauce. Yes…. Ben can cook back to the snow
The view from the upper deck off the master. Then early this morning before it really started
An outdoor planter a dear friend of mine made me some 20+ years ago and a pair of bronze sparrows. Also a very cold Chinese fisherman
I hope the day treated you well, happy Friday and have a great and safe weekend.
As the stars gently bathe you in their luminous glow I’m caught breathless by your silhouette. Each curve and line captured in perfect form. Each star giving you it’s light to fill the very heart of darkness. To spread that joy of youthful innocence among the tired and broken. To teach one how to love again with the freedom of youth. The grace of your form know no bounds as its timeless essence gives strength to the ache of my heart, body and soul.
I have to admit I’m not sure what to do without my studio. For the past 3 years I’ve done pretty much nothing but paint. With all the stress of the holidays mixed with the pressure of moving , I feel like I’ve just run 200 miles. I’ve been spending some of the 20-21 hours a day I’m awake to do some writing and today I was able to take a few more photos. Please join me as we look at another addition of Te things I’ve seen.
Still though one of my favorite love sayings is from
“Though love be a day and life be nothing, I shall not stop kissing“
Which I think at some point in the near future I shall have tattooed on my body.
I miss painting for you, for me… I miss sharing my heart and soul with those whom I’ve come to know and love, respect and cherish over this past 1.5 years. 8 days and counting till the movers come and take on the burden of moving the heavy stuff. The hardwoods are in at the farm house and the carpets were being laid when I stopped by this morning soon the dream of my new home and private studio will be a reality. Another thing I can’t wait to share. Until we meet again. Be brave be bold and thrive in the life you have.