Let there be paint…

Good morning. I hope your well today. It’s been a while. I woke this morning to a absolutely beautiful day. I have east facing windows in the studio section I my apartment and from time to time the rising sun gives me a morning to write, share and paint with. Today was one I those days. So please come in an join me.

I do have a number of pieces that I’ll be working on and posting about this week so stay tuned. This morning I spent some time soaking in the morning sunshine, texturing a few pieces and contemplating a design for a large lotus flower piece.**yes by popular demand I will be doing some lotus pieces :) please enjoy.

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A nice clean work space, for now ( about 5 min)

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Then like magic, stuff. I’ve a commission piece I need to get working on today as well.

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The texturing for the pieces may take an entire day to complete as I’m not going to over rush things with this work. It’s actually one of my life lessons that I’m learning right now. Things take time, we as humans take time, plants, air, water, love and trust take time. Since my DX back in November of 2011 I’ve been living like I have no more time. Which is true and not but in doing so I think I’ve rushed myself and missed out on and messed up something that life has given me. That being said the true lesson of slowing down and appreciating the small, tender and important things is harder than one may think but a journey most welcome in my life.

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The light mixed with the “stuff” I have in my painting space makes for some great shadows.

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Lastly a quick look at 1/2 of Broken framed. I’ll be heading to the art store shortly to pick up another 12″x12″ black frame to complete the other half of this piece.

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Well I’m back to the studio. I hope all your dreams come true.

Much love and light.
Benjamin
2014
“A life in progress”

Broken~Completed

Some of you know where this piece comes from some may not but I can guarantee that I wish I didn’t. Many of you know this last April I separated from my wife and was forced to leave my home and children. During this process I gave my my trust away when I shouldn’t have and got burned. I have to take some responsibility but as in all scenarios it takes two to tango.
I’m left now feeling more broken and rejected than I have in any time in my 44 years on this planet. I will not go into details out of respect for myself and all involved. Please enjoy the next images as a part of my healing process.
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Above the close ups.

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This piece was intentionally painted as one piece with the knowledge that I would break it in half at the seem.

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BROKEN
(2) 12″ x 12″ birch panels
Mixed media
Ink,varnish,acrylics
2014
Benjamin
A life in limbo
Pam torri’r addewid honno ?

Studio stuff~ 7/27/14

I don’t have many words today so I’ll let the paint speak. I hope the day is kind to all of you. Enjoy.

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“It must have been a dream”
Work in progress

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At various stages and angles,

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And then a look at Broken a piece that will soon be split in two. Actually it ready is.

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I doubt I will ever tell the story of these pieces for the words used to do so I’m not sure I will ever speak again.

Benjamin
2014
“A life in progress”

Stuff and things ~ 7/26/14

Good morning, I hope the day has found you well. As so often I do I find myself pondering the point of this life, why is it that we are given these huge range of emotions and yet so often not the tools to deal with them? Recently I lost someone in my life whom I love very dearly. So I sit here wondering how do I get past that “again” how do I learn to fill that void?
Sadly I’m old enough to know I can’t. I know I will never fill the void of loss I can only learn to live with it. Hence back to my question why? Why are we given this depth o heart and soul if only to have it ( them crushed ) how can that possibly be good. Anyhow like many of my paintings it’s a process right, hour by hour minute by minute and day by day I suppose.
http://youtu.be/6BQoJDHZsGM

~~ Words~~
** Hearts on Fire**
There is calm that you bring to my busy mind
That no other can bestow.
A gentleness that flows from your heart
And fills my worried soul like no other.
It is with these simple and humble hands that I do paint and write these words of heart strings and things
These visions of color given weight
By the heart behind them.
There is no measure of thanks or soft words to imply the depth of my heart to yours or the length at which my soul soars amongst the angels in heavens high.
So for that I let my words and paint fill that void of “Hearts on Fire”
Benjamin
2014

Despite the loss, ache and empty that I have in my heart right now I’m trying to think of the positive things I do still have in my life. I was just asked to speak at a disabilities conference in Portland Oregon August 10-12th. I believe the topic I’ll be speaking on is thriving in life despite having a disability. I also just accepted a seat on the board for the Parks department here in Salem. So things in most of my life are looking up I just wish I could get past the longing in my heart to be held.
I’ve been doing some roughy sketches for my next few paintings. Being up here in Portland at my friends garden has given me some interesting ideas. Keep in mine the drawings are just outlines at to where the second layer of linear texture will go. They will be in the same style as My Love and Healing Waters

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Here is a quick look at some of the ideas.

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Growth

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Iris

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Untitled

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My Path
Well my friends that’s about all I have today. I’ll be getting a ride back to the studio later today and will probably hide for a while.

Always
Benjamin
2014
“A life in progress”

Gifts from the garden..

I had the opportunity to visit a friend today and received a lovely tattoo. Then spent some time in the garden relaxing and gaining inspiration from nature. Taking some time in Portland to slow things down a bit. Please enjoy gifts from the garden:

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A greeting from the head,

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A stop by the play,

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Then kissed by the sun.
And possibly there was some painting that happened early this morning before the adventures of the day began.

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And panel two

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The pieces above were painted side by side and currently sharing a seem.
I hope the day has treated you and life has been kind.

Always
Benjamin
2014
“A life in progress”

The morning mile~ and some paint.

To be honest I’m not sure if it was a mile or not. This morning I woke around 2a pst to gentle breeze and a summer rain. Greeted by the the late night crowed coffee in hand I wished them well and took a walk to find the stillness in my life that I’ve seem to have lost.
What I did find was the world or parts of it were still and peaceful for me. I brought some back to share with you.

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Closed

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Wall

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Angel Wing

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Up

There was also some painting that was done today. Still wet as I type, still waiting for me to return.

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This piece has a secret, she’ll be two when she’s done.

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It must have been a dream
This piece will change a great deal but will look similar when completed.
Both are very early in development.
Thanks for stopping in today as always it’s lovely to have you with me.
And please remember to always Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have, you never know when things will change….

Benjamin
“A life in progress”
2014

Just to be clear and so it can be said.

Some may see my previous post as a celebration, sadly it is anything but. I’ve never dreamed only feared that I’d not be by my childs side nor not stand with my family. My new life is only the best outcome from a very sad and horrific situation. It breaks my heart a thousand times a day. But who do I wish to be in this life a warrior or a victim? Do I show my kids to simply lay down when life gets hard?? NO!! I must Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life I have. If not for myself then for them as they may not see it now but someday they will and I hope when they need strength the most they can search for that strength in the memory of their father.

cailín gaelach
To my Bonny Lass: I’m sorry I’ve failed you.
With eyes like emeralds I’m drawn so deep.
Into a place no demons can creep.
Hair like fire and skin so fair
Only she can take me there.
With a laugh and kiss our bond oh so deep.
Fifteen years in the making a promise a promise I keep.
For all of my days and all that come after
A vow that we made in front of a pastor.
Now my poor girl I feel that I’ve failed.
Your white knight has rusted my coffin half nailed.
I fight off the demons try to keep them at bay.
Slowly and surely they come as they may.
Taking my armor one piece at a time.
Falling like soldiers all in a line.
Till my last dyeing breath I promise to fight, no my sweet love “I will not go quietly into the night”
” For all of my days and all that come after”

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“May your days be bright and your nights be short. Go in love and light and a memory so bright that love may lead the way.”
Benjamin
2014

Starting Over ~ Completed

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#1
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#2

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#3

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Starting Over
16″ x 20″
Mixed media
2014
bmp~studio

~Some words~

There once was a time when slept

I slept with dreams of my own
Calm and peaceful in the night sky
Gentle summer breeze through a window
Left open just enough…
Just enough to keep away the demons of the night…
Now I find myself with coffee and words
In the small hours of the night and early morn
Wandering the halls of new home
As I’ve done so many times before
Bach in the background as my fingers find
The keys to ease my worried mind
And wanten heart.
Poetic justice for a painters heart
To wander with words so often in a day
These small place and faces
That haunt my desires and dreams
Keeping paint at bay till the words stop
Falling from the sky.
Slipping from my lips to your heart..
There once was a time when I slept…..

Benjamin
2014

Need your input~Really

Hello and welcome back, it’s always lovely to see you. Today I’ll be posing a question to all that stop by. I’ll soon be making some post and gift cards also some small prints of my work. They will be for sale at the august 6th function and the September Open studio tour. So here’s where you come in. I’m going to post a number of pre-selected pieces and I’d like to know what you think. Keep in mind I’d like to sell these small pack for 5-10-20 usd.

With any luck I’ll be able to get a poll in here and  we can get an idea of what pieces gain more interest.

now if I’ve done this correctly there should be 1-9 selections plus an other button on the poll.

1. Dreaming of Autumn

2. Heart Broken

left to right ending with

9. Rebirth

for those of you who would like to have a larger voice in the selection process please press the other button and leave a comment. Let me know  which piece(s) you’d like to see.

Thanks again for everything, and always remember to please Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in you life.

Benjamin

2014